Fortunately, there was still a glimmer of light in the darkness. Aunt Ying helped her from behind, and Su Qinian accompanied her through those tough high - school days.
That was the only light left for her.
Her soft heart had erected an iron - hard wall, protecting herself but also shutting out all outside warmth.
Could she try to rely on others, open a crack to let this light in, illuminate the darkness, and wash away everything?
Now, she only had herself left.
Listening to the young man beside her imagining the future, her closed - off and cold heart unexpectedly yearned for it. Even a little bit of it made her... have a thought of giving it a try.
The college entrance examination was over. No one was bound by anything anymore. They could be themselves boldly and openly.
Lin Jinran pursed her lips and stared at him sideways, her heart fluttering.
Could she try to tell him the shackles that had been binding her? Before, it was because of the college entrance examination, but now that it was over, she had no reason to hide it from him anymore.
Passing by a big tree, Su Qinian pointed to the sky and shouted, "Look, Jinran, the sunset glow is so beautiful!"
Suddenly interrupted from her thoughts, Lin Jinran looked up. It was truly incredibly beautiful. The sky was on fire, and in the distance, a patch of deep and serene blue echoed it, creating a breathtaking view.
Su Qinian nervously glanced at the girl beside him and quickly looked away. He pointed at a projection screen by the river with the hand behind his back.
The projection screen immediately showed images, and a long, serene piece of pure music slowly filled the air. Lin Jinran's ears perked up. Looking ahead, there were pictures of her and Su Qinian on the screen.
Lin Jinran was stunned and stared intently.
The first picture was taken on the first day she came to Class One when she was introducing herself on the podium. She didn't know who had secretly taken it. She still remembered how she introduced herself.
"Lin Jinran. It's from 'I see the mountains all in red, with every forest dyed in crimson'."
The second picture showed her high - spirited at the grade assembly. The third and fourth pictures were taken when they went to the amusement park on a weekend holiday. There was also a picture of Lushan Mountain in the neighboring province when Su Qinian accidentally hugged her...
One by one, like a movie, the pictures were played on the big screen, recording their acquaintance and getting to know each other. After all the pictures were played, the screen went black. A few seconds later, a video appeared, a self - narrative video of Su Qinian.
On the big screen, he said extremely seriously, "Jinran, I have a secret, a secret that has been hidden in my heart for a long, long time. The first time I saw you, you made a fool of yourself in front of me and then followed me into the toilet. I was thinking at that time how could there be such a muddled person? Well, you were also kind of cute."
"Later, you chased after me for my contact information. I could tell it was a joke, a farce, so I didn't give it to you. If we were destined, we would meet again. I didn't expect that my words would come true. The next day, we were actually in the same school and the same class. I secretly felt happy."
"My friends noticed my restlessness and secretly tried to match us up. Jinran, you should know now what the secret that has been in my heart for a long, long time is. It wasn't the love that grew as we got to know each other later. It was the flutter in my heart at the first sight, the joy of falling in love at first sight."
"Jinran, I like you. It's the daily flutter in my heart and the real, genuine love. In the long summer and setting sun, I only have eyes for you."
The soothing and serene music reached its climax. Lin Jinran's eyes were moist, and tears welled up in them.
Before she knew it, Su Qinian was already holding a bunch of brightly blooming pink lychee roses in his hand. He suppressed his trembling voice, and his eyes reflected the girl's figure. It seemed as if he couldn't see anything else.
"Jinran, I like you. Would you like to be with me?"
Lin Jinran looked at him, her eyes shining with tears.
"Be together! Be together! Be together..."
A few people emerged from behind the big screen. They were Xie Wanyu, Jiang Xiubin, Lu Youchuan, and Tao Wan. They were cheering warmly beside them, with bright smiles on their faces.
The young man was holding the delicate and beautiful pink lychee roses. His delicate features were right in front of her, and his beautiful phoenix eyes were filled with anticipation and nervousness.
What a beautiful picture it was.
Lin Jinran's heart was touched. The high - rising wall in her heart seemed to be melting. In front of her was the one she loved, and beside her were her friends.
But... could her battered life really accept this? Was she really worthy?
Suddenly, a sharp pain shot through her brain, and fragmented memories flashed through her mind.
When she was young, her mother and father quarreled. At night, her mother often hugged her and cried, "Jinran, why hasn't your father come back yet? Does he not want us mother and daughter anymore? Jinran, tell me what should I do."
During the winter vacation, Lin Tingnian said arrogantly, "Lin Jinran, how do you think you're worthy? Your father doesn't love you, and your mother is in a vegetative state. You're just a useless person in the family."
And the online violence turned into real blades, stabbing deeply into Lin Jinran's heart. It hurt so much that she could hardly breathe.
"You're not worthy! You're not worthy! You're not worthy..."
Those people's mouths opened and closed, and the words "you're not worthy" kept pouring in from all directions.
You,
Not,
Worthy.
The overwhelming pain seemed to engulf her completely. Lin Jinran's breathing became rapid, and her heart was pounding like a drum in her chest.
Everything around her became blurred. The mocking voices seemed to turn into real sharp blades, cutting her self - esteem and reason one by one.
Lin Jinran began to tremble and stared at the people in front of her in horror.
Deep in her heart, a weak voice was struggling to shout, "No, no, no..."
But the voice was too weak and was soon drowned out by the wave of "you're not worthy".
She felt as if she was being dragged into a bottomless abyss, surrounded by endless darkness and cold, with no hope in sight.
"Jinran..."
Not getting a reply from Lin Jinran for a long time, Su Qinian called her name hesitantly, full of expectation.
Was she really worth loving?
She who had nothing.
"Ah!" Lin Jinran suddenly let out a scream. Her heart felt as if it had been hit by a heavy hammer, and the violent vibration made it almost impossible for her to stand.
Su Qinian and the friends around him looked at her in confusion.
At this moment, Lin Jinran's mind was in a complete mess. Reality and hallucinations were intertwined, and she felt as if her existence was being gradually devoured.
Maybe she shouldn't have existed in the first place?
Her mother was gone. In this vast world, she was all alone.
How could she accept the confession of the one she loved with joy less than half a month after her mother's death?
This was wrong. She was sorry for her mother. No wonder every time her mother's face appeared, she seemed to want to drag her to hell.
Lin Jinran suddenly turned around and ran desperately into the distance. Her vision was blurred by tears, and her heart was filled with despair and fear.
"Oh, come on, Su Qinian! What are you doing? Don't just stand there! Hurry up and chase after her!" Xie Wanyu stamped her feet anxiously and urged. The change had come so suddenly that before anyone could react, Lin Jinran had fled.
Su Qinian casually threw the pink lychee roses on the ground and immediately ran in the direction where Lin Jinran had gone.
But Lin Jinran ran too fast. She was running with all her might, regardless of anything, and deliberately ran into a crowded place, as if trying to shake off everyone behind her.
In a blink of an eye, she was out of sight.
Su Qinian was anxious. He sent a message asking everyone to help look for her.
Lin Jinran ran in the darkness, as if chasing the last glimmer of light. She didn't know how long she had been running until she was exhausted and couldn't take another step. Then she stopped and gasped for breath.
The gentle evening breeze caressed her cheeks, waking Lin Jinran from her agitated state. She looked around blankly. In just a few minutes, she didn't know where she had run to. There were few people here.
Lin Jinran suddenly came to her senses. What on earth was she doing? Fleeing directly when facing Su Qinian's confession and even deliberately shaking off the people chasing her.
There were too many and too chaotic thoughts in her mind. Her mood had fluctuated too much, and she had made the wrong choice.
At this moment, were Su Qinian and the others looking for her anxiously?
No, she must go back to find them. A strong sense of guilt welled up in Lin Jinran's heart. She took a deep breath and drove those distracting thoughts out of her mind.
Lin Jinran knew that no matter how terrifying the hallucinations just now were, she couldn't escape reality and Su Qinian's feelings.
If her mother knew in the afterlife, she should support her, not say words of blame.
Lin Jinran turned around and walked back along the way she had run.
"Sister, long time no see."
"Jinran, you've been out playing for so long. Isn't it time for you to go home?"
Lin Jinran trembled all over, her heart pounding. She turned her head bit by bit.
It was Yang Jinzhi and Lin Tingnian, smiling like demons, staring at her triumphantly.