Yes, in a few days, Su Qinian would also take the college entrance examination. He couldn't be distracted by her matters at this crucial moment.
He carried too many hopes on his shoulders.
Lin Jinran looked at the boy in front of her sadly, and her eyes seemed to moisten again. She tilted her head back with difficulty, trying to force back the tears that were about to fall.
Then she heard Su Qinian say, "The day after tomorrow, the school is going to hold a graduation party for us. I heard that they originally planned to hold it after our college entrance examination, but later, seeing that we were under too much pressure, they decided to hold it two days earlier. Jinran, will you come back to school then?"
"I should be back at school by then," Lin Jinran said softly, her breath barely audible. In the dappled light and shadow, she seemed on the verge of collapse, almost transparent.
This was a promise.
In fact, Lin Jinran didn't know when she would return to school. She only knew that her state was very wrong. She was in a low mood and had no interest in anything. The world seemed to have lost all meaning, painted in black and white.
She couldn't see a glimmer of hope.
On the inside of her arm, there were scars she had made with a fruit knife when she was in pain.
The depression had returned, hadn't it?
Lin Jinran swallowed the bitter taste in her mouth and forced a smile, trying to look as good as before.
"Okay, let me know when you come back to school. I'll pick you up at the school gate," Su Qinian looked down at Lin Jinran, his eyes firm and unwavering.
However, the room was pitch - black. The curtains were tightly drawn, blocking any ray of light from the outside world. The whole room seemed to be swallowed by the thick night.
Su Qinian felt a faint uneasiness in his heart. The complete darkness also prevented him from seeing the girl's expression clearly.
"Lin Jinran..." he called out, trying to soothe his restless emotions.
"I'm here," Lin Jinran replied. She had always been there. Now she was looking straight at Su Qinian, her eyes dull and lost, as if carrying too much unspeakable sorrow.
"Okay, if I go to school, I'll send you a message in advance."
As soon as the words fell, Lin Jinran seemed to finally be unable to hold back the emotions surging in her chest. She gently raised her hand, and her fingertips trembled slightly in the darkness.
She seemed to be hesitating about something.
When she opened her eyes again, the blankness in her eyes had dissipated a bit. She strode forward and threw herself into Su Qinian's arms, wrapping her arms around his waist.
The scorching body temperature seeped through the fabric and pressed against her skin. Lin Jinran let out a satisfied sigh and leaned on his chest. By her ear was the boy's panicked and violent heartbeat, pounding forcefully again and again, as if it were about to break free from the shackles of his chest.
At that moment, time seemed to stand still.
"Jinran..." Su Qinian's pupils constricted sharply, and his voice trembled slightly. He gently stroked her hair, as if to confirm whether all this was real.
It was real, not a dream.
Su Qinian closed his eyes, pulled her into his arms, and gently patted her on the back.
"Jinran... What on earth is wrong with you?"
All the details led him to think in one direction.
Lin Jinran must have encountered some difficulties.
This hug only lasted for ten seconds. Lin Jinran let go and took a step back. She gave a playful smile and said, "There are no difficulties. I just caught a cold these days and don't feel well. I just want to be lazy and rest for a few more days."
Was it really so?
Su Qinian still had his doubts.
"Really. Don't worry. It's almost the college entrance examination. I definitely won't let anything happen to myself," Lin Jinran pulled his hands and said half - coquettishly.
"Hey, it's almost one o'clock. Su Qinian, you should go back to school quickly. Be careful not to be late this afternoon... I still want to go back to sleep."
Without giving Su Qinian a chance to argue, Lin Jinran smiled and pushed him out.
Su Qinian stood outside the door, while Lin Jinran stood inside.
The orange light of summer fell gently on the boy's handsome eyebrows. On the other side, boundless darkness was slowly swallowing her.
One bright and one dark, the interlacing of light seemed to separate two worlds that would never meet.
Su Qinian felt the uneasiness again. He reached out his hand, wanting to pull Lin Jinran into this bright and grand world.
But Lin Jinran refused. She tilted her head and looked at him with a smiling face, half - coquettishly and half - complaining, "Su Qinian, I still want to go back to sleep. It's all your fault for disturbing my good dream."
A strange feeling welled up in his heart.
Before Su Qinian could figure out where this strangeness came from, Lin Jinran stamped her foot and put her hands on her hips. "Why haven't you left yet? I want to go back to sleep. Don't worry. I'll definitely tell you in advance when I go to school."
The last bit of his train of thought was disrupted. His beautiful phoenix eyes stared at Lin Jinran intently. He raised his eyebrows, smiled, and nodded. "Okay, have a good rest. I'll wait for you at school."
As the door closed, the two worlds were suddenly separated.
Lin Jinran returned to her own world. She slumped to the ground along the cold door, her face expressionless.
Her body and face showed completely different reactions.
The voices of taunts, jeers, spurns, and disdain filled Lin Jinran's ears, like buzzing flies. A crack finally appeared on her cold face.
"You all say I'm unworthy, everyone says I'm unworthy... I really am. Su Qinian has a harmonious family, doting parents, and a superior family background. He's a child of heaven."
"And what about me? What about me? Zhang Qiaozhi was right. My mother is a vegetable. My father scolds me at will and treats me like an outsider."
"A year ago, I finally managed to escape from the imperial capital, away from my father and step - mother, and brought my mother to Wannan City, just hoping for her to wake up. But God, why can't you even fulfill this small wish of mine? I just want my mother to wake up."
"There is indeed a huge gap between people," Lin Jinran smiled slowly, eerily. Her eyes were unfocused. All the self - esteem she had accumulated over the years was growing wildly like weeds at this moment and finally erupted.
"My wishes are few. The first is for my mother to wake up, and the second is to be admitted to Tsinghua or Peking University. Did I cause this tragedy because I was greedy and made one more wish on my eighteenth birthday?"
"No, that's not right. I should blame myself for only focusing on studying this month and rarely coming to the hospital to see my mother. I didn't notice her problems in time."
"She must be resenting me for not visiting her. Does she think I abandoned her? That's why she left without hesitation. She had held on for ten years, ten years! Why couldn't she hold on a little longer? Doctor Duan said that as long as I get my admission notice and with the equipment imported from abroad, the probability of her waking up will increase greatly with the double stimulation."
"Why didn't she wait for me?"
Lin Jinran slumped on the ground weakly, like a lonely figure abandoned in the boundless and cold sea. Her blood was slowly freezing.