After the dinner, Tan Linyuan drove to the city's mental hospital.
It was the lunch break. The nurse said that Tan Siqi had just taken his medicine and was sleeping soundly.
Tan Linyuan entered the ward and planned to sit and accompany him for a while.
Most of the time when he came to visit before, it was the same scene. His father was emotionally unstable and mostly relied on sedatives.
Tan Linyuan couldn't remember what his father looked like when he was in high spirits. Now he looked dying, on the verge of his life.
The torture of illness and emotions made him look more than ten years older than his actual age.
Bored sitting there, Tan Linyuan picked up a fruit knife and started to peel an apple. He cut it into small pieces and put them on a plate.
I don't know how much time had passed when his father on the hospital bed opened his eyes, coughed twice, looking extremely painful.
Tan Linyuan stood up and walked to the bedside to pour him a glass of warm water. "Dad, drink some water."
Tan Siqi frowned and coughed. His wrinkled eyelids drooped, and his eyes were dim. "… Qingtong?"
Tan Qingtong was the name of Tan Linyuan's elder brother.
Tan Linyuan's hand holding the water cup paused for a moment, then he calmly explained, "Dad, I'm Linyuan."
"Linyuan…" Tan Siqi coughed for a while longer before taking the water Tan Linyuan handed over.
After clearing his throat, his voice became less hoarse. "How have you been… lately?"
Tan Linyuan dragged a chair closer to the bedside. He knew that his father was now sober and could recognize him.
Tan Siqi didn't always bear hatred for Tan Linyuan. Occasionally, he would show the tenderness of a father.
"Everything in the Tan family is fine. You can rest assured in the hospital."
Tan Siqi stretched out his withered hand, and Tan Linyuan immediately held it. His eyes were calm.
"You're…"
"I'll be thirty after the New Year."
Tan Siqi smiled and tightened his grip on Tan Linyuan's hand. "Our Linyuan… has grown up so fast."
"I'm not young anymore."
"What about your marriage… have you given it any thought?" Tan Siqi's eyes were cloudy, but they lit up a bit when he said this.
Tan Linyuan looked at his father and answered honestly, "I'm not considering it for now."
Tan Siqi was stunned for a moment, and his breathing immediately became rapid. "Why aren't you considering it yet?"
A man should be established at thirty.
Especially for a family like the Tans, besides taking over the enterprise, the most important thing was to carry on the family line.
Without an heir, there would be no continuation of the family, and the bloodline couldn't be passed down.
Whether it was considered feudal dross or not, it was a rule deeply ingrained in people's minds.
"Qingtong passed away early. He and Ruoyi only had a daughter. Now you're the only eldest son of the Tan family. If you don't arrange your wedding at thirty, are you planning to let the Tan family die out?"
Tan Siqi managed to say this series of words smoothly for once. After that, he started to cough desperately again.
Tan Linyuan handed him a tissue. Watching his father coughing violently, he remained very calm. "Calm down, Dad."
"Scoundrel!" During the intervals of his coughs, Tan Siqi scolded him angrily. "How could the Tan family have raised such an ungrateful wretch like you!"
Tan Linyuan lowered his eyes. He was used to such words.
In the early years, he had heard even more unpleasant words.
Tan Siqi sat up straight. His gray - streaked hair made him look haggard. His old eyes were filled with hatred as he pushed Tan Linyuan's hand away. "You… you're deliberately making the Tan family a laughingstock!"
"I'm also a member of the Tan family. There's no reason for me to let outsiders laugh at the family."
Tan Siqi was furious. "If… if your elder brother hadn't left early, now in the Tan family… it wouldn't be your turn to be in charge!"
His breathing was so rapid that he almost fainted, but he still growled with hatred, gasping for breath. "If Qingtong were still alive, there would be no need to beg you to carry on the family line and bring glory to the Tan family!"
Tan Linyuan smiled. "Then please trouble Dad to do some rituals to bring the dead back to life so that elder brother can bring glory to the Tan family."
"… You!"
Tan Siqi's face turned ashen. His breathing became more and more rapid, like an old blower. "You're really a born villain. You deliberately killed your elder brother so that you could take control of the Tan family!"
He was so angry that the veins on his forehead were bulging. His body went limp and he leaned against the head of the bed. He was only exhaling, hardly inhaling.
Tan Linyuan walked over skillfully and offered him a pill, but Tan Siqi angrily pushed it away.
"… You good - for - nothing! Bastard!"
"Curse! Scoundrel! Ungrateful wretch!"
Listening to these scoldings, Tan Linyuan was as calm as water. He knew that today's conversation was a failure again, so he got up to leave.
If he stayed any longer, Tan Siqi might be so angry that he would die.
Just as he stood up from the chair, Tan Siqi caught a glimpse of the fruit knife on the bedside table. A cold light flashed in his eyes, and he picked up the fruit knife.
Tan Linyuan folded his arms across his chest and stood within Tan Siqi's reach, silently looking at him.
He neither dodged nor flinched, not caring about the shining blade at all.
Tan Siqi held the knife and paused for a moment, surprised by his son's lack of evasion.
Tan Linyuan said coldly, "You're going to stab me to death again, aren't you?"
Tan Siqi's body stiffened.
"Back then, when the Tan family was in trouble and in a state of turmoil, I was the one who took on all the blame and mess. I was pushed to the altar as a sacrifice. Later, I shouldered this burden. Now, everyone in Jiangcheng respects the Tan family. But now, your siblings are all coming to share the benefits."
Tan Siqi's hand holding the knife trembled. "… So what?"
Tan Linyuan looked at his father indifferently. "If you really have this in mind, you might as well stab me to death right now. Anyway, you have a mental illness, so you don't have to go to jail. Just right, you can see for yourself how long the Tan family can last after I'm dead!"
Tan Siqi was shocked. Finally, he couldn't hold the knife anymore, and it clattered to the ground.
His body slumped down. He collapsed against the head of the bed like a deflated balloon, losing all his arrogance at once.
His old eyes stared blankly at the ceiling. His lips moved, and finally he only uttered, "It's all the sin of the Tan family… It's all the inescapable fate of the Tan family…"
"You might as well just say it's my sin." Tan Linyuan hated this kind of excuse extremely. He walked over and picked up the knife.
"I'm putting it bluntly today. If you really can't stand me as your son, while you're still sober, just write a letter to sever the relationship and expel me from the Tan family. I'm tired of being a workhorse for the Tan family for so many years. I might as well shave my head and become a monk to see whether I can't live without the Tan family or the Tan family can't live without me."
After saying that, he flung his sleeve and left.
His G - Class was parked at the hospital entrance.
In the afternoon, the sun was setting. The sky was gloomy and dim. The wind blew the fallen leaves on the roadside and scattered them.
Tan Linyuan quickly got into the car and slumped back in the seat. He raised his hand and rubbed the space between his eyebrows.
Every time he met his father, it would remind him again and again of the golden hoop on his head and the shackles around his neck.
Sometimes he would also wonder: Why wasn't it him who had the car accident and rolled off the cliff back then?
Why wasn't it him who died in his mother's womb during a difficult birth?
Why didn't that knife pierce his heart directly and end his suffering?
Tan Linyuan took a deep breath and instinctively turned the ring on his little finger.
Before, he used to twirl the Buddhist beads.
The car was extremely quiet.
He only felt a dead - like silence.