After dinner, Li Qiyu and Song Yian took a stroll around the villa. Li Qiyu didn't want to go, but Song Yian dragged her out.
As they walked along the winding mountain road, Song Yian took the initiative to ask about Zhou Donglin.
He knew this was a wound. If left untreated, it would fester and ooze pus. Poking at the scar might be painful, but if not, the wound would never heal.
Li Qiyu seemed to have recovered a lot. When talking about Zhou Donglin, she was not as emotional as before.
After listening to Li Qiyu rambling about her past with Zhou Donglin, Song Yian said, "If I were Zhou Donglin, I wouldn't be willing to see you suffer."
These words shocked Li Qiyu. She looked at Song Yian in confusion, with surprise and an indescribable emotion in her eyes.
Song Yian explained frankly, "I'm not just comforting you. When you were talking about him, I don't know why, but I could easily put myself in his shoes." Song Yian tried to console her. "Since in ancient times, before your death, he never told you how he felt. He just wrote a collection of poems to record your story when he was about to pass away. That means he didn't want his love to be a burden to you. Moreover, he didn't think that your response was necessary for this love to be complete. In fact, having shared memories might be enough for him."
"You're just saying this to stop me from feeling guilty, aren't you?"
It's no wonder Li Qiyu had such self - pitying thoughts.
In fact, Zhou Donglin's love did put a lot of pressure on Li Qiyu. It was a kind of uneasiness and she didn't know how to deal with it.
"Have you read his collection of poems? In his poems, most of his regrets were because you married the wrong person. But did he ever beat his chest in regret because you didn't end up with him?"
"What do you mean?" Song Yian's words were a bit profound.
"His regrets were only about you. If you hadn't married Song Jiaye and become the queen, but had married a husband who treated you well, I believe he would have been happy for you."
During this period, Song Yian had also got to know Zhou Donglin to some extent. In modern eyes, this man was a coward. He didn't even dare to pursue the woman he loved. What kind of a man was that?
But surprisingly, Song Yian could understand his situation.
In the ancient environment, if he had confessed his love to Li Qiyu on a whim, he might have felt good and shown his manliness, but it would only have put Li Qiyu in a difficult situation.
Moreover, love doesn't necessarily mean being together. Protecting the one you love is also a form of love.
If you can strive for it, then love whole - heartedly.
If you can't, then silently protect.
The true meaning of love lies in the other person. Doing good for her is the real meaning. Respect is the rule.
This was the lesson the ancient Zhou Donglin had taught Song Yian. So even though Song Yian was a bit jealous, he couldn't bring himself to hate Zhou Donglin.
He was a true gentleman and a lovestruck fool worthy of admiration.
Thinking of this, Song Yian asked, "Is the Zhou Donglin you know a person who would make you unhappy?"
Li Qiyu shook her head without thinking.
"The Zhou Donglin I know was a source of joy. When I was with him, I never had to worry about anything. I could do as I pleased, without having to care about etiquette. I didn't have to be as careful as in the palace, afraid that one wrong word would give others a handle. And I didn't have to constantly worry about the other person's mood like I did with Song Jiaye, afraid that I might do something wrong and make him unhappy."
At this point, Li Qiyu understood.
At that moment, it was as if someone had pushed open the door of her heart, and she suddenly saw the light.
"I understand. If I keep dwelling on this, I'll be disrespecting his feelings."
Song Yian nodded with a smile. Li Qiyu was indeed smart and very in tune with him. This kind of heart - to - heart communication was really wonderful.
Li Qiyu felt as if a heavy burden had been lifted off her shoulders, and her mood was much lighter.
"When I first learned about this, I was shocked because I never thought he had such feelings for me. In fact, he always told me he had a girl he liked. Before I was about to be sent to the cold palace, he also told me that he had a girl he liked and wanted to get married, asking me not to worry about him. Now that I think about it, it was probably to comfort me, but I believed it."
Song Yian nodded. Li Qiyu was right. This was exactly the kind of stupid thing Zhou Donglin would do.
"Later, after reading the collection of poems and going to the Capital Museum, I found that hairpin among his relics and was sure that the person he really liked was me. Then I felt sorry for him, thinking that I had let his infatuation go to waste. So these days, I've wanted to know everything about him, how much suffering he endured for me. But the more I know, the heavier my heart gets."
At this point, Li Qiyu took a deep breath and then continued.
"Thank you, Song Yian. I almost failed to live up to his feelings."
Song Yian asked, "If he were still alive now, would you be with him?"
Li Qiyu thought seriously and said, "I'm not sure."
"Not sure?"
"Whether you think I'm slow - witted or careless, I really always regarded him as a younger brother and a family member. I never thought about what it would be like if he became my husband. Maybe there were occasional moments of a fluttering heart, but I never allowed myself to think too much. I thought it would be a desecration of this pure friendship we'd had since childhood."
"Now that you know his feelings?"
"Yes, but he loves me. I'm grateful to him and appreciate everything he's done for me. I won't rashly return his love just because of this gratitude. Isn't that disrespectful to the one you love? After thinking about it seriously during this period, I may like him, but whether I can marry him depends on whether we can get along in a different relationship."
In fact, just imagining this scenario made Li Qiyu a bit uncomfortable.
It was like getting married to one's own younger brother.
They were familiar with each other and the feelings were indeed deep, but it was really a bit awkward.
Song Yian nodded. When he first heard this, he even felt a bit sorry for Zhou Donglin. But now, after hearing the explanation and knowing Li Qiyu's feelings, he suddenly thought - no wonder Zhou Donglin was so infatuated with her.
She was both emotional and rational, and respected feelings equally.
She deserved the best.
At this time, Li Qiyu smiled and said, "Speaking of which, I just had a strange dream."
"A dream?"
"Yes, I dreamt about him."