Gu Yuan was pushed away in bewilderment and asked me with concern what was wrong.
I swallowed hard, my throat dry. My eyes darted around in panic.
The scene of giving birth to the snake fetus replayed in front of my eyes like a movie on repeat.
"I'm sorry. I can't do this," I said.
As soon as the words left my mouth, I rolled out of bed and rushed to the bathroom in a flurry. I locked the door behind me and leaned my back against it, slowly sliding down to the floor.
I didn't even dare to close my eyes. I raked my fingers through my hair, trying to push those thoughts away.
But the more I tried not to think about it, the clearer the images became.
"Lan Lan, what on earth is going on with you?" Gu Yuan knocked on the bathroom door. I could hear the worry in his voice.
I took a deep breath, collected my thoughts, and replied, "I'm fine. I just got my period. It's not really convenient."
Gu Yuan stood outside the door and didn't leave. I didn't want him to worry too much, so I got up from the floor and even flushed the toilet for good measure.
When I opened the door, Gu Yuan looked at me suspiciously. I forced a faint smile at him.
"Sorry about that."
"What's there to be sorry for?" Gu Yuan reached out and grabbed my hand. I instinctively wanted to pull it back, but I knew that if I did, it would only make things worse.
My mind was in a complete mess. If I stayed with him any longer, I was bound to give myself away.
"Gu Yuan, I just remembered. I made an appointment with Yan Lin to go shopping today. She always says I value love over friendship. So can I go back to the dorm for a few days?"
I put on a pitiful expression.
Gu Yuan's deep, black eyes stared into mine intently.
I originally wanted to look into his eyes lovingly, but for some reason, I suddenly felt so guilty that I quickly lowered my head as soon as our eyes met.
"Go ahead," he said flatly.
His tone made me feel so guilty that I wanted to say sorry to him.
But I held back. I thought that if I took a couple of days to adjust, everything would be okay.
I didn't dare to look at his face anymore. I opened the door and walked out.
As soon as I stepped out of the neighborhood, I felt a sense of relief. The oppressive feeling disappeared.
I took out my phone and called Yan Lin. I asked her to come out for dinner. Sometimes, venting to a best friend is a great way to relieve stress.
Yan Lin was always willing to help. After making an appointment at a small restaurant near the school, she took a taxi there.
It didn't take long after I ordered the food for Yan Lin to come running over in a hurry, carrying a small bag.
"Sorry, Lan Lan. I just finished dealing with some student council business. I'm late."
"It's great that you came. How about we have a few drinks today?" I picked up two bottles of beer and handed one to her. I took a big gulp from the other bottle.
The beer was so cold. The boss must have left it outside. Otherwise, it couldn't be this cold.
Alcohol is really a magical thing. After I finished a bottle of ice-cold beer, I burped, and my face even started to feel warm.
Yan Lin knew that I rarely drank. She was stunned when she saw me like this.
"Lan Lan, did something bad happen to you?"
"I don't know how to put it. It's just really hard to talk about." I picked up another bottle of beer, opened it, and gulped it down.
Yan Lin knew this wasn't good. We hadn't even started eating the skewers yet, and I was already getting drunk.
"What could be so hard to talk about?"
After two bottles of beer, my vision was starting to blur. I didn't think there was anything hard to talk about anymore.
"I... I don't want to have kids. Do you understand?"
I pouted and stared at Yan Lin with droopy eyebrows.
When Yan Lin heard my words, she covered her mouth in surprise, her eyes wide as glass marbles.
"Lan Lan, are you pregnant? Didn't you two take any precautions?"
Yan Lin's voice was so loud that everyone in the restaurant turned to look at us.
But I didn't feel embarrassed at all. I didn't care. I even raised my voice louder than Yan Lin's.
"We didn't take any precautions, so I'm afraid of getting pregnant."
As long as I wasn't embarrassed, it was other people who would feel awkward.
Yan Lin saw that people around us were pointing and staring.
She shouted at the crowd, "What are you looking at? Is it a crime for newlyweds not to want kids?"
Everyone lowered their heads. No one dared to look at us anymore.
"If you don't want to have kids right now, you can just take some precautions," Yan Lin said in a low voice, not wanting the people around us to gossip.
"It's not that simple. I want to have kids for him, but I want them to be human... not..." I hesitated for a long time before finally forcing out the word, "snakes."
Just mentioning that word made the image of the black snake crawling out of my body flash through my mind.
I couldn't help but shiver, and goosebumps covered my body.
"Did you see something?" Yan Lin opened a bottle of beer. This time, she didn't let me drink straight from the bottle. Instead, she poured it into a glass.
I picked up the glass and drank the beer. Then I told her everything that happened when I went to Xiangchuan.
She gasped in surprise. Just listening to my story made her feel numb all over. I couldn't even imagine how I felt when I actually went through it.
"This is really a tough problem. If you ask him directly if you'll give birth to a snake fetus, it might seem like you're biased against his snake identity."
"But if you don't ask, you have this shadow in your heart. You're even starting to be afraid when he touches you. This will affect your relationship as a couple."
Yan Lin was also very troubled. After thinking for a long time, she said, "How about this? You can take some contraceptive pills for a while. It'll make you feel more at ease."
"Wait until you get used to it and the shadow in your heart fades away. Then you can discuss the issue of having kids with him."
It seemed like there was no other better way.
"Okay," I said, accepting Yan Lin's suggestion. But I still felt uncomfortable. It felt like taking the pills was a betrayal of him.
Yan Lin and I ate dinner until after 10 p.m. We were both a little drunk.
We helped each other back to the dorm. I climbed into bed without even washing my face.
Li Xue thought we smelled like alcohol, so she didn't even come back to the dorm. She went to sleep in another dorm.
The alcohol made my head hurt so much. I kept complaining about how I felt and how I wanted to throw up.
But Yan Lin wasn't in any better shape. She didn't have the energy to take care of me.
My stomach was churning. But I still had a little bit of sense left. I covered my mouth and ran into the bathroom. I hugged the toilet and vomited uncontrollably.
I don't even remember how I got back to my room.
I just felt like I was floating onto the bed. It seemed like I was lying on someone's lap. Someone's hand was gently rubbing my temple.
My head had been throbbing with pain before, but now it didn't hurt at all. It felt so comfortable that I couldn't help but smile. I looked up at the man above me with blurred eyes.
"Wow... You're so handsome. Who are you?"