After Sheng Jingxi left, only Jiang Li and Xiao Yanzhi were left at home.
During the chatting while eating just now, they were almost full. Jiang Li turned the heat down a bit. They could just cook a little more whenever they wanted something to eat.
Continuing the previous topic, Jiang Li chatted with Xiao Yanzhi about some things that happened between her and the Sheng father and son. She told him in detail how she got so close to them and her experience of specifically visiting Cheng Yingchun before.
At that time, Jiang Li clearly went to find Cheng Yingchun to learn from her, but unexpectedly met Xiao Yanzhi. He even sneered at her, saying that she deliberately followed him there.
The room was completely quiet, only the gurgling sound from the pot could be heard.
Jiang Li smiled, her voice brisk and natural. "At that time, what you said really hurt people."
"I really didn't know you and Qin Yaoyao were there. It felt really bad to be misunderstood." When mentioning something that happened a long time ago, Jiang Li could already let it go. "But luckily there was still something important to do at that time, so I didn't have time to be too sad."
Xiao Yanzhi remained silent.
He stared at Jiang Li for a moment, his voice hoarse and deep. " ... I'm sorry."
He had too many helplessnesses and regrets. After struggling in his throat for a while, only these three words were the most appropriate and the most powerless in the end.
"You said I only know how to say 'thank you'. Aren't you the same? You only know how to say 'I'm sorry'?"
Jiang Li joked with him. "The pot calls the kettle black. Don't always pick on me in the future."
One always said thank you, and the other always said sorry. It was so much like their relationship.
One was expressing gratitude, and the other was trying to make amends.
Xiao Yanzhi lowered his eyes slightly. His voice was slightly restrained, with a kind of pain of forbearance. "Sorry, my actions back then were really too extreme. I deeply hurt you."
He really felt guilty, and even had a feeling of self-loathing.
She was clearly the one he loved, but he kept hurting her with a sharp blade again and again, making her fall into helplessness and pain.
He couldn't forgive himself.
Jiang Li was still smiling just now. After he finished speaking, her expression gradually faded, and her voice became very soft. "Each of us comes to this world for the first time. It's difficult to make every step right. It's okay to make mistakes occasionally."
Jiang Li let out a laugh. Instead, she comforted him. "As long as we live in the present and have a clear conscience, that's enough."
The topic should have ended here.
But suddenly Xiao Yanzhi spoke again. There was a hint of awkwardness in his voice. "But I'm still living in guilt. I can't get out of it."
Jiang Li was silent for a moment. She felt as if her heart had been grabbed.
Xiao Yanzhi's voice was calm and deep. "I'll never be able to make peace with myself in this lifetime. I can't accept the fact that I've hurt the one I love the most."
At that moment, Jiang Li felt her heart go blank.
His extremely pious and serious confession. All the things he had done to her in the past had not only brought her pain.
It was also a sharp blade that tortured him day and night.
"People will make a lot of mistakes." Xiao Yanzhi's voice was deep, slightly bitter and cold. "But only this one, I made a ridiculous mistake that can't be forgiven. I can hardly reconcile with myself."
"Even I don't know if I can make up for it."
Jiang Li was slightly stunned. After a moment, she said softly, "I don't blame you anymore. It was a long time ago."
People have a self - protection mechanism. Those distant, heart - breaking pasts have gradually faded in the long river of time.
At the same time, new and beautiful memories have filled in. These are gradually mending the broken parts. Although it can't be restored to its original state, at least the wind can no longer leak in.
It's not perfect. She calls it a satisfactory kind of completeness.
Jiang Li met his gaze, her eyes calm. "You don't have to be too self - reflective. I've already forgiven you."
Xiao Yanzhi stared at her. "Thank you, but your forgiveness is not enough to offset my annoyance and guilt. I don't even expect you to forgive or forget those things ..."
"I only beg you to give me a chance to make up for you all the time - until I feel at ease with myself."
Jiang Li was in a daze for two seconds.
He used the word "always".
Jiang Li unconsciously asked, "How long is 'always'?"
Xiao Yanzhi was stunned. Then he looked up and laughed. "It means for a very, very long time, forever."
"Then, how far is forever?"
She asked very seriously. Xiao Yanzhi's smile gradually faded, replaced by seriousness and solemnity.
He said word by word, as if making a promise. "From this moment until I die."
After a long while, Jiang Li laughed. There were tears in the corners of her eyes.
The forever in his mouth finally had a deadline.
"You're really good at making plans." She lowered her head and wiped the corners of her eyes with a tissue. She saw through his thoughts at once. "Hiding behind the guise of making up for me, you plan to stick with me to the end?"
"You've found me out." Xiao Yanzhi also laughed. He sat a little closer to her. "I just want to do this, but whether I can or not still depends on your answer."
Jiang Li pretended to hesitate. "Then I need to think about it."
Xiao Yanzhi looked calm. He wasn't really bothered about the answer. "Anyway, your answer doesn't matter. I'll still do things my own way."
Jiang Li: " ... Then why did you even ask me!"
Xiao Yanzhi let out a soft laugh. His eyes fell on the cup that Sheng Jingxi had used just now. The bottom of his eyes darkened slightly. "I have another question."
"Go ahead."
"How far have you and Sheng Jingxi ..."
Before he could finish his sentence, the phone on the table vibrated a few times.
Before dinner, Xiao Yanzhi had turned his phone to silent in advance. Now that there were only the two of them in the room, the vibration was especially obvious.
Jiang Li was considerate. "You answer the phone first."
Xiao Yanzhi originally didn't plan to answer it, but when he saw the caller ID, he picked up the phone and got up to leave.
He walked into a guest room a little farther away from the dining table before he lifted the phone to his ear. He put his lips close to the receiver. "Doctor Qiao, go ahead."
Qiao Jinrun: "These days I've gone through some of the existing files in the hospital. Although I haven't found any relevant information about Jiang Li, I've got another idea."
"I dug out the registration files of the newborns from that year and checked them all. Now I can confirm that there are a total of five babies with unknown information. Three are male and two are female."
Xiao Yanzhi frowned slightly. "Go on."
"One of these two female newborns unfortunately died prematurely that year. I found the death record registered by the hospital. So the only remaining unknown baby girl may be Jiang Li."
The truth was getting closer.
Xiao Yanzhi's heart suddenly skipped a beat. He casually looked back at the door to make sure Jiang Li wasn't eavesdropping. He lowered his voice. "So, what's the name of the mother of that baby girl?"
...
Sheng Jingxi came back soon, carrying a lot of alcohol. It seemed that he was going to get drunk.