Jiang Li never expected that things would turn out like this.
Xiao Yanzhi would patiently explain all the reasons to her, then tell her about his setbacks in youth, and finally calmly inform her of the reason for establishing Jiang Entertainment.
All these things seemed to be for her.
Xiao Yanzhi noticed her unusual mood. "You seem to have something on your mind," he said.
The studio was very quiet, blocking out all the noise. It was a perfect place for meditation, thinking, and self - reflection.
"… I suddenly don't know which one of you is the real you," Jiang Li said slowly, pursing her lips. "I even wonder if all this is just a dream you wove."
He had once humiliated her with the most sarcastic words, but now he indulged her so tenderly.
Like a nightmare and a beautiful dream alternating, it made her unable to tell the real from the false.
She was afraid that one wrong step would lead her into an abyss.
Xiao Yanzhi stared at her.
"I'm sorry," he said in a deep voice. "I know what I did has hurt you, and it's useless to make up for it now."
"It may seem a bit false to say this at this time, but — the second rebellious thing in my life is to go against my family's will and love the one I love."
Jiang Li's heart skipped a beat.
Love the one he loves.
"To make this happen, I've spent a lot of energy and time to remove the obstacles in front of me. I don't want the tragedy of my youth to repeat itself," he said, looking up at her. "I also don't want the treasure I cherish to become an insignificant sacrifice in others' eyes and a bargaining chip to threaten me."
Only by showing that he didn't care and pushing her further away could she be safe.
Having nothing to do with him was the only way for her to live in peace.
He could accept his paintings being burned to ashes, but Jiang Li couldn't.
He would go crazy.
Xiao Yanzhi closed his eyes. He felt a sense of panic and anxiety that didn't belong to him sweeping over again, eroding his emotions and soul.
It had been a long, long time since he last felt such a sense of crisis.
"The reason I hurt you with harsh words was that I hoped to deceive everyone," he said, looking down and smiling self - deprecatingly. "But if I really wanted to deceive everyone, the first thing was to deceive myself."
Deceive himself into not loving her.
Deceive himself into hating her, deceive himself into not wanting any future with her, deceive himself into thinking that he was just her benefactor and that they had only a fleeting romance.
But how could one deceive one's true heart?
What he had done, his duplicity, and his self - deception had already backfired on him during countless days and nights. It hurt so much that he couldn't sleep at night, and his whole heart was in a mess.
"I've thought countless times to be rational, to let you go and give you freedom," he said calmly. "But my heart tells me that I don't want to, I can't, and I can't stop loving you."
It was as if a blazing ray of light had penetrated her chest and quickly spread throughout her body with her blood, announcing this news everywhere.
It seemed that all the uncertainties and doubts finally got an answer at this moment.
He said he couldn't stop loving her.
"I can't let go of this, and I don't want to give up," he said, reaching for her hand and gently rubbing her palm, pulling her closer to him. "It's my fault. My arrogance and paranoia have hurt you. I'm willing to atone for my sins. I'll do anything, as long as you don't leave, okay?"
Jiang Li didn't say a word for a long time. Her nose felt a bit sour, and she almost forcefully pulled her hand out of his palm.
The sudden emptiness in Xiao Yanzhi's palm made his expression tighten.
"Is this what loving someone should be like?"
Jiang Li bit her lip and carefully chose her words. "Or rather, is loving someone just treating the other person in a way you think is right?"
Her tone was very calm, without the slightest ripple. "But I think love shouldn't be about hurting."
"Love shouldn't be about making up for mistakes or atoning for sins, nor should it be about guilt and apology after doing something wrong."
She was so calm that it seemed that every word Xiao Yanzhi said just now hadn't affected her at all.
She still hadn't forgiven him.
Xiao Yanzhi felt a dull pain in his heart.
He clenched his fist and then quickly loosened it.
"Xiao Yanzhi, you have power and influence. Of course, you have the courage and confidence to start over and make amends," Jiang Li said, closing her eyes with tears in them. "Even if you can't be a painter, you can still be a boss and still have a high social status. You're not to be pitied."
"You have too many choices, which makes you think that everything should go according to your plan, even how to love someone and in what way to love someone should be up to you."
Jiang Li paused for two seconds and then spoke extremely calmly and indifferently. "You can choose how you love someone, and of course, I have the right to choose whether to accept it or not."
"I don't accept it."
…
When Brother Li settled the wages for the two of them, he suddenly remembered something and slapped his forehead. "Qinqin, is your friend a big star? I feel like I've seen her on TV."
"Brother Li, you're so slow to react," Liu Qin said with a smile while counting the money in her hand. "This is Jiang Li. She was very popular before."
Jiang Li quietly pulled Liu Qin, indicating that she didn't need to say more.
"Oh, I remember now," Brother Li said belatedly. "She once starred in *Thorn Rose*, but she looks a bit different from in the movie."
In *Thorn Rose*, Jiang Li played the image of a disheveled rural woman. Her hairstyle and makeup were also very different from now, so it was normal not to recognize her.
Moreover, she hadn't had many activities recently, so her popularity had dropped a lot in the eyes of the public. Few people would notice her when she walked on the street.
New people always come and go. In this era of entertainment, it's very difficult to be remembered after being eliminated.
People's memories fade quickly, which is terribly cruel.
Jiang Li took the payment and took Liu Qin to a barbecue restaurant next to the studio for dinner.
The meat was sizzling on the grill, full of the flavor of life.
Liu Qin had been busy all day and was already starving. She wrapped the meat in lettuce and stuffed it into her mouth, still asking vaguely, "Sister Lili, how was your experience today?"
Jiang Li lowered her head. "It's okay. Not too tiring."
In fact, both her body and mind were exhausted.
Just eating barbecue wasn't satisfying enough. Since it was Sunday tomorrow, Liu Qin ordered a few bottles of soju. It was a bit sweet, but the alcohol content was not low.
It had been getting colder recently, and Jiang Li had a slight cold. She had taken medicine before coming, so she didn't drink.
But Liu Qin got drunk and kept chattering. Even when they left the barbecue restaurant and were about to take a taxi back, she still clung to Jiang Li.
"Sister Lili, where's your boyfriend?" Liu Qin hiccupped and wiped her mouth. "If you drink, remember to ask your boyfriend to pick you up. It's safer."