Hearing this, Jiang Li averted her gaze and looked at Jingyi. She could tell that Jingyi was trying hard to find something to talk about. She reached out and stroked Jingyi's head. "Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. You don't have to force yourself."
Jingyi was steady and reliable in doing things, but she usually talked less. Xiaoye was talkative and lively, but she was prone to being careless when doing things.
"But I still think I'm so useless. If Sister Ye were here, she would definitely make you laugh. At least—she wouldn't make the atmosphere so cold."
Jiang Li couldn't help but chuckle softly. "No one is perfect. You also have your own strengths. There's no need to be too hard on yourself."
Jingyi turned her head and asked her, "What about you, Sister Jiang Li? Can you also stop being too hard on yourself?"
Seemingly asking naively, what she really meant was, "Can Sister Jiang Li also stop demanding perfection from herself and calmly accept her own flaws and weaknesses?"
Jiang Li fell silent immediately.
Seeing that she didn't say a word, Jingyi started talking on her own. "When I was in school, the teacher said I was stupid and lacked spirituality. But I was patient. So as long as I persevered and worked hard, I could still get into a good university and find a stable job in the future. It's just that I'm not good at doing clever and smart jobs. I'm clumsy with words and always can't tell what to say and what not to say."
Jiang Li was aware of this.
When she first recruited Jingyi, Jingyi was really clumsy with words and always spoke too bluntly. But Jiang Li didn't really mind.
Girls who had just entered society always made a few small mistakes.
"In my opinion, Sister Jiang Li, Sister Ye, and Sister Chen, you are all very shrewd and capable people. You will definitely achieve great things in the future, but you are also more likely to be tripped up by small things."
"Because you are so capable, you have high aspirations. And you are more likely to get stuck because of setbacks."
"Before, my art teacher once said, 'Those who engage in art are all crazy.' I understand the meaning of this sentence now, but I still don't want you to become crazy, Sister Jiang Li."
"If you become crazy, there will be two crazy people in our group. The other one is Sister Ye. She is already crazy every day. It will be very difficult for me if there is one more."
Finally, the previously quiet Jiang Li burst out laughing. "Jingyi, you're quite humorous. You should try telling cold jokes."
Seeing that she was finally amused, Jingyi also laughed. "Sister Jiang Li, what I said just now wasn't accurate. What I meant was—even if you become crazy, I don't mind. As long as you live well."
She said very seriously, "I can choose not to get married and take care of you for the rest of my life. I'll cook for you for the rest of my life."
"Jingyi, if you keep talking like this, I'll be moved to tears." Jiang Li blinked her eyes, with a faint smile on her face. "But you can't choose not to get married for my sake."
"So, you should also live well for our sake." Jingyi added in a timely manner.
...
In the evening, Jiang Li received a call from Ying Chengqi, which was expected.
"Jiang Li, you should have told me in advance." On the other end of the phone, Director Ying's voice was filled with sighs. "Our movie has just been scheduled for release."
"I know, Director Ying. I'm really sorry." Jiang Li apologized. "If it has an impact on the box office, I'll ask my agent to cover the losses."
Ying Chengqi said, "It's not about the box office. I planned to use this movie to compete for awards. You know those old men on the award - judging committee. They are already hard to please."
He didn't finish the rest of the sentence, but Jiang Li knew what he meant.
Those old experts on the award - judging committee were all very experienced. It was already difficult to impress them. They also had to compete with other submitted works. Coupled with some human relationships, winning an award was extremely difficult.
Counting the previous times, this was Ying Chengqi's third time submitting a work, and it was also the time he was most confident about.
The script was carefully polished by Ying Chengqi, and the actors in the movie all performed excellently. Originally, winning an award should not have been a problem.
But he never expected that Jiang Li, who suffered from bipolar disorder, would suddenly appear.
Although there is no explicit rule in the industry that actors with mental illnesses are not allowed to participate in competitions, the subconscious thinking of people will make them view Jiang Li's performance with prejudice.
As the leading actress of the movie Embroidery Girl and the main character throughout the whole movie,
Suddenly making public her mental illness would undoubtedly greatly reduce the score in the award - judging.
Whether this movie won an award or not, it would be controversial.
For a controversial work, the chance of winning an award was almost zero.
"I'm really sorry, Director Ying." Jiang Li said softly. "I ruined your masterpiece. It was my fault."
"Forget it. Now that the thing has happened, it's useless to say these things." Ying Chengqi sighed. "Now I can only try my best to strive for a nomination. The rest depends on fate."
After saying that, he asked very curiously, "Jiang Li, didn't you clearly tell me before that you wanted to win the Best Actress award? If you had this intention, you should have known..."
She should have known how negative an impact exposing her illness would have on winning the Best Actress award.
If the work couldn't win an award, it would be even more impossible for her to win the Best Actress award.
Hearing Director Ying's question on the phone, Jiang Li closed her eyes tightly and said into the phone in a voice so soft that she could hardly hear herself, "I don't want to be the Best Actress anymore."
Her voice trembled at the end. "I don't want to be the Best Actress anymore. I'm sorry for disappointing your expectations."
After saying that, she hung up the phone in a hurry.
She tightly held the phone in her hand. Big tears rolled down from the corners of her eyes into her lips. An extremely painful feeling tore through her body.
What was going on?
It seemed that she was saying goodbye to the self who chased her dreams, to the shining self, to the self who once stood on the stage and confidently said that she wanted to be the Best Actress in China.
She was a deserter, the most despicable deserter.
Since the live - broadcast, in the past few days, she had successively received greetings from brand owners and directors she had cooperated with before. On the surface, it was concern, but in fact, it was a hint that they would not cooperate with her in the future.
A star with a mental illness who might commit suicide at any time was obviously a time - bomb that might implicate a large number of people at any time.
Jiang Li understood their attitudes.
She first asked for a few days' leave from the drama troupe and sorted out the things at hand. After the leave was over, she returned to the troupe, but then she received the news that she had been suspended from performing.
"Why?" After hearing the news, she directly found the person in charge of the drama troupe and asked in confusion, "Why am I being suspended from performing?"