She uttered the three words “I hate you” with remarkable bluntness. “Everything was your unilateral decision. It's as if things had to develop according to your plan.”
“You suddenly told me all these things and went around in such a big circle to tell me a story, without asking if I wanted to listen.”
She sobbed, “Why were you indifferent when I loved you? But when you said you were attracted to me, I had to give you an answer?”
Xiao Yanzhi fell silent for a moment.
He was always so high - handed. Even when he expressed his feelings to her this time, he forced her to give a result.
And this result had to be what he wanted to hear.
“I hate you. I hate that you made me think I was so important. I hate that you trampled on my dignity again and again. I hate that you come and go as you please. I hate that you even waited for me to say I like you first.”
Those words were like sharp blades, stabbing at her heart again and again.
She wasn't a heartless fool. She couldn't forgive and forget.
Nor could she let it go.
How could she believe someone who held a knife and said they loved her?
While speaking, Jiang Li pushed him away forcefully. “I never expected to have a great deal of love. But you made me think I had love, and then left me with nothing.”
Jiang Li laughed and cried at the same time. “Do you know how to destroy a person? It's to let her live in a warm house, have delicious dinners, and sleep in a comfortable bed, and then push her into the snowy night.”
“If so, I'd rather never have had it at all.”
If a person had never touched a fire, she wouldn't know what warmth was.
It was because of her greed that a tragedy occurred.
The summer night in Huacheng was sweltering, but Jiang Li felt cold, and her body trembled slightly. “I hate you. You're the person I hate most in my life.”
Xiao Yanzhi was silent for a while. He could feel a distinct pain in his heart.
She said she hated him.
His heart tightened. All the words he had prepared were stuck in his throat. The cigarette in his hand was crushed tightly. The burning ash scorched his finger, but he didn't even notice.
In the end, there was only one person left on the steps, along with two Coke cans, one of which had spilled most of its contents.
When the wind blew, the part soaked in Coke stuck to his chest stickily, with a hint of minty coolness.
He had long known that he had made a wrong move.
But he never knew he had been so far off the mark, and his mistake was so irreparable.
Hearing the word “hate” from her mouth made him feel as if he couldn't breathe for a moment.
She hated him.
The rose he had carefully cultivated and nurtured now calmly said she hated him.
The look in her eyes seemed to indicate that she hated him to the bone.
He sat restlessly on the steps, his hand covering his brow bone. His eyes were half - closed as he peeked at the moon through the gaps between his fingers.
She said she no longer dreamed of plucking the moon.
He was that moon, aloof and cold, out of reach.
He still remembered that day at Song Yu's wedding banquet when someone patted him on the shoulder and said, “Anyone who stands on tiptoe for too long will get tired. No one can wait forever.”
Only now did he understand the true meaning.
It turned out that one couldn't be too late to say “I love you”.
...
Jiang Li returned to the ward in a daze. Xue An had already left, and Xiao Ye was almost asleep. Seeing Jiang Li rush in with red eyes, she suddenly perked up. “Who bullied you?”
Saying so, she rolled up her sleeves, ready to fight. “Which hooligan was it? My legs may not be working well now, but my hands are free!”
Jiang Li laughed through her tears. “It was Xiao Yanzhi. He's not far away. He's downstairs.”
Xiao Ye's raised arm stopped abruptly. She quickly pulled down her sleeves and covered her mouth with a yawn very naturally. “It's getting late. I'm suddenly so sleepy.”
After saying that, she really pretended to pull up the quilt. “Good night, Sister Jiang Li.”
Jiang Li didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
There was a cot beside Xiao Ye's bed. Jiang Li would rest on it at night.
After the nurse made the last round of ward inspections, she covered Xiao Ye with the quilt, turned off the light, and lay down on the bed.
After years of running around for film crews, Jiang Li was no longer picky about the bed. But tonight, she just couldn't fall asleep. Afraid of waking Xiao Ye up, she even turned over quietly.
She couldn't help but think about what Xiao Yanzhi had said.
Those words played over and over again in her mind like a movie. A wave of sadness welled up from her heart and gradually engulfed her whole body.
She had to curl up her body.
Now, she no longer believed that anyone would love her.
Even her own mother didn't love her, and her younger brother had hurt her. What else could she expect?
Not to mention Xiao Yanzhi.
His love was like a bubble, or a fleeting meteor. Before she could catch it, it had disappeared without a trace.
Jiang Li closed her eyes tightly, forcing herself to forget those random thoughts in her mind and urging herself to fall asleep quickly.
But once a person wanted to fall asleep quickly, sleeping suddenly became extremely difficult.
After failing to fall asleep for who - knows - how - many times, Jiang Li finally gave up. She decided to take a walk in the corridor. Maybe she would feel sleepy after walking.
She got out of bed quietly, opened the door a crack, and walked out lightly.
The lights in the hospital corridor were on all night.
As she walked, she came to the door of the ward where she had bumped into Xiao Yanzhi today.
The light in the ward was still on.
She stopped. Curiosity suddenly welled up in her heart. She wanted to see who the woman in Xiao Yanzhi's story was.
But it would be impolite to do so. She only paused at the door for a few seconds and was about to turn around and go back to rest.
Just then, the door opened, and a very delicate and dignified woman stood in front of her, wearing a loose hospital gown.
It was hard to tell the traces of time on her face. Her eyes were gentle, with an indescribable kindness. “Miss, are you looking for me? I saw you standing at the door for a long time.”
Jiang Li didn't expect to be discovered. She was silent for two seconds and didn't know how to explain.
“Sorry, I disturbed you,” Jiang Li thought of an explanation, which was quite reasonable. “I was just passing by your room. Seeing your light was still on, I thought you might have fallen asleep and forgotten to turn it off.”
“I see,” the woman smiled. Her lips were an abnormally pale color, but she was still gentle. “Thank you, but it's okay. I just haven't fallen asleep yet.”
She made people feel comfortable. She didn't seem like a petty person who deliberately interfered in others' marriages.
She stepped aside and pointed inside. “Do you want to come in and chat if you're not sleepy?”
For some reason, Jiang Li didn't refuse for a moment.
Before she knew it, she was sitting in the ward. The woman opposite also slowly sat on the bed and looked up at her.
“What a beautiful girl. What should I call you?”
Jiang Li bit her lip and finally said, “You can call me Jiang Li.”