Facing these words, Pei Jiangmu remained unmoved.
As if he hadn't heard them at all, he didn't even bother to take an extra look at Pei Jingdu.
Pei Jingdu was so angry that he gasped for breath and tried to wake him up with the harshest words.
"What will you do when you're in deep trouble? Who will protect your Zhaozhao then? What should she do? Lie in there and wait for you?"
The last sentence was like a needle, stabbing hard into Pei Jiangmu's numb nerves.
His eyelashes trembled slightly, and there was finally a glimmer of fluctuation in his empty eyes.
But that fluctuation was cold and full of mockery.
He slowly raised his eyes and looked at his elder brother, who was full of anger and disappointment. The corner of his mouth twitched into an extremely tired and cold arc, and his voice was hoarse.
"Don't worry. I won't implicate the Pei family."
He paused for a moment, his gaze sweeping past Pei Jingdu and landing on the empty corridor in the distance. His tone was as calm as if he were discussing the weather.
"If you really mind, you can issue a statement right now to sever ties with me. Expel me from the Pei family and clear your relationship with me."
Pei Jingdu was shocked as if struck by lightning. He stared at Pei Jiangmu in disbelief, and the hand that was holding his arm unconsciously loosened its grip.
"What... What are you talking about? Pei Jiangmu, for the sake of a woman, you're giving up your family, your future, everything, right?!"
He simply couldn't understand how his younger brother, who had been as intelligent as a demon and calm and self - controlled since childhood, had become like this!
All for a woman?
"Family?"
Pei Jiangmu finally turned his head and looked directly at Pei Jingdu.
There was no longer emptiness in his eyes, but cold despair and mockery that had been pent up for too many years.
"Didn't you... already abandon me?"
His voice was very soft, but it was like a heavy hammer, hitting Pei Jingdu hard in the heart.
Pei Jingdu's pupils shrank sharply, and his heart skipped a beat. A sense of foreboding seized him.
"What... What nonsense are you talking about?!"
"Nonsense?"
Pei Jiangmu laughed softly. His laughter was dry and desolate, filled with a heartbreaking despair.
"Big brother, I've been acting with you for more than a decade... Do you really think I've forgotten everything?"
He took a step forward, getting closer to Pei Jingdu. His scarlet eyes stared at him intently, surging with pain and questioning buried by the long years.
"Have you acted for so long that you've even convinced yourselves?"
"Convinced yourselves that you have no grudges against me, the murderer who killed your own younger brother?"
"Convinced yourselves that you can really treat me like a normal son and a normal younger brother?"
Pei Jingdu's face instantly turned as pale as paper. He shouted sharply, trying to stop him from speaking.
"Jiangmu! Shut up!"
That name, that taboo, was a scar that the Pei family had never mentioned for more than a decade!
"Why should I shut up?"
But Pei Jiangmu seemed to have thrown caution to the wind. The pain, self - blame, and grievance that he had suppressed for too long.
At this moment, because of Meng Ruozhao's coma, because of the extreme fear and helplessness, finally burst forth.
"Is it because I've spoken the truth that you can no longer deceive yourselves?"
His voice trembled, choking with sobs, but he still stubbornly continued.
"Pei Jiangfu... my twin brother... the son that all of you, including father and mother, were most proud of and most beloved..."
Every word was like a piece of flesh cut from his heart, dripping with blood.
"If I hadn't been playful and fallen into the ice - covered lake that winter, he wouldn't have jumped in to save me... and his health wouldn't have declined ever since..."
In front of his eyes, he seemed to see his younger brother again, pale and thin but always with a gentle smile.
They were twins, looking almost identical, but with completely different personalities.
Jiangfu was smart, sensible, and sunny, the pride of their parents.
And he, Pei Jiangmu, was dull and introverted, always living in that dazzling light.
"Later... I was kidnapped..."
Pei Jiangmu's voice became lower and lower, filled with endless self - blame and pain.
"All the family's attention was on me... looking for the kidnappers, negotiating, raising money... No one noticed that he had a fever and was so sick..."
He would never forget.
When he was rescued and returned home with the fear of a narrow escape and a faint sense of relief.
What greeted him was not his parents' embrace, but the mourning in the house and his younger brother's cold body.
"He collapsed in the garden... on such a cold day... No one noticed..."
Finally, Pei Jiangmu's tears couldn't be held back any longer, mixed with endless remorse.
"A high fever, meningitis... On the day I came back, his condition worsened... Multiple organ failure..."
He raised his head, looking at Pei Jingdu, whose face was equally pale, with blurred eyes. His voice was broken.
"Big brother... Tell me... What was the sentence father said when he held Jiangfu's body?"
Pei Jingdu's lips trembled. He turned his face away, unable to bear to look anymore.
But Pei Jiangmu wouldn't let him off. Stubbornly, he repeated word by word that nightmare that had haunted him for more than a decade like a spell.
"He said... 'Why did the one who died... have to be Jiangfu? Why not...'"
He didn't say the name that followed, but the silent accusation was more cruel than any words.
The air was dead silent.
Pei Jingdu was stiff all over and couldn't refute.
It was just a slip of the tongue from his father in extreme grief, but the speaker might not have meant it, while the listener... remembered it for a lifetime.
"From that day on..."
Pei Jiangmu raised his hand and wiped the tears on his face forcefully. But his eyes became even more empty and cold.
"I knew. In your hearts, especially in father and mother's hearts, I, Pei Jiangmu, was just an extra person, a sinner who killed their perfect son."
"So, I studied desperately, learned everything he had learned, imitated the way he handled things, and tried my best to meet all your expectations..."
"I lived myself as his shadow, as the 'heir' you wanted..."
He forced a smile that was uglier than crying.
"I thought that in this way... I could atone for my sins, could make you... take a look at me, could make you think that I was still a bit useful, not so... damned."
There was a bone - deep weariness and desolation in his voice.
"But it didn't work... No matter how well I did or how many achievements I got, in your eyes, I was always Pei Jiangmu, never... Pei Jiangfu."
"For me, that family had long been cold. The way you looked at me had long changed."
He took a deep breath, forced down the surging emotions, and looked at Meng Ruozhao in the ward again. His eyes were filled with extreme tenderness and dependence.
"Only Zhaozhao... Only she is different."
"She met me when I was just Pei Jiangmu."
"She doesn't know about Pei Jiangfu. She doesn't care if I'm the heir. She even... doesn't think there's anything wrong with me."
"With her, I'm not anyone's shadow, nor the sinner who killed my younger brother. I'm just me."
"She's my light... the only floating log I can hold on to in the cold sea..."
"She's the only meaning of my existence in this world."