The month he spent with Shen Xinyin was a kind of torture for him.
He quickly came to his senses and realized that Shen Xinyin was Shen Xinyin. She was not Meng Ruochao, and she could never replace Meng Ruochao.
There was no such tenderness and determination in her that could pierce through his hard shell.
Nor was there that kind of fragility and stubbornness that made him feel pity and couldn't help getting closer.
He found that he really couldn't seem to fall in love with anyone else.
That fleeting glimpse in the sun was like a brand, deeply engraved in the depths of his soul.
So, he had to make a clean break. He found an excuse and broke up with Shen Xinyin.
This incident became an ineffable mess in his love history.
A stupid thing... that he did because he couldn't have the one he wanted and tried to find comfort but ultimately failed.
How could he talk to Yan Sisi about these complicated feelings that even he himself couldn't sort out clearly?
Was he supposed to say that he had once hastily started and ended a relationship just because of a similar side profile?
This would only make him look more embarrassed and unseemly in front of his younger sister.
It would also make people think that his feelings for Meng Ruochao were just so - so.
So, he could only keep silent.
He let Yan Sisi's taunts and doubts pierce his already battered heart like needles.
The suffocating silence in the car continued to spread.
Yan Sisi looked at her elder brother's tense profile and the low - pressure aura around him.
The sense of pleasure that came from exposing the past gradually faded away, replaced by a complex emotion.
She could actually feel that Yan Qiubai's feelings for Meng Ruochao were not as casual as he showed.
Suddenly, she sighed and broke the silence. Her tone was no longer prickly but rather serious.
"Brother, stop looking like a dead man. I'm only going to ask you one thing now. Do you still want to win Ruochao back?"
Yan Qiubai's closed eyelashes fluttered. He slowly opened his eyes, and there were red bloodshot eyes and deep exhaustion in them.
He didn't answer immediately. He just turned his head and looked out of the window at the rapidly receding colorful lights, his voice hoarse.
"So what if I do? Her attitude was very firm when she broke up with me."
So firm that even when he pressured the Du family, he couldn't make her compromise.
"Her firm attitude is just because you didn't do well enough!"
"As long as she's not married, you still have a chance!"
Yan Sisi didn't take it seriously. She leaned closer and lowered her voice.
"However, you can't be like before, trying to pressure her through the Du family or using those business - like methods."
"You know better than me what kind of people the Du family are. They'll only push her further away!"
"With Ruochao's personality, if you force her, she'd rather be broken than let you have your way."
These words hit Yan Qiubai's sore spot.
He had indeed had such thoughts before, thinking of using Du Feng's hand to make Meng Ruochao have nowhere to go and finally return to him.
But now when he thought about it, how stupid that approach was.
"Then what do you want me to do?"
He turned his head and looked at Yan Sisi, with a faint glimmer of hope in his eyes.
Although his younger sister had been prickly in her words just now, she always seemed to have channels and ideas that he didn't know about when it came to Meng Ruochao.
Yan Sisi was silent for a moment. A look of struggle and helplessness flashed across her face, and finally, it was as if she had made up her mind.
"To be honest, I really don't want to help you, and I don't want Ruochao to get involved with our Yan family again."
"The water in our family is too deep and too dirty. It's not suitable for someone as pure as her."
"You still have an ex - girlfriend, and you showed off in front of her. In this regard, you're really not a good match."
She paused, and her voice dropped, with a bit of inaudible grievance and fear.
"But... I'm even more afraid that she'll marry someone else. If that happens, I'll really... be even further away from her."
"I've only just found her again..."
Taking a deep breath, she looked at Yan Qiubai again, and her eyes became firm.
"So, I've already asked someone to contact the best expert teams in the fields of brain science and neuropsychology abroad."
"Once everything is arranged, I'll take Ruochao there for a more comprehensive examination and evaluation to help her regain her memory earlier."
Yan Qiubai's pupils shrank slightly, and he suddenly sat up straight: "Regain her memory?"
"Yes."
Yan Sisi nodded.
"Once she remembers everything from before and remembers that we used to be such good friends, I can rightfully return to her side."
"By then, I'll help you out as her best friend."
This proposal made Yan Qiubai's heart pound wildly, but immediately, a huge worry welled up in his heart.
He swallowed hard, and his voice was hoarse.
"But... what if she regains her memory and also remembers her former... boyfriend?"
Based on the small amount of information they had found later, they knew that Meng Ruochao should have had a stable boyfriend during her years in France.
Although that person's identity was a mystery and he had never shown up in public.
But based on the information and intuition Yan Qiubai had recently, he was almost certain that that person was from the Pei family in Haicheng.
After all kinds of verification and speculation, he thought that person was Pei Jingdu.
Because he had accidentally seen a photo of Meng Ruochao and Pei Jingdu in front of a gallery in France.
In the photo, the young girl was standing beside the noble - looking man, looking up and smiling. The dependence and sweetness in her eyes were something he had never had.
So later, out of jealousy, he deliberately took the amnesiac Meng Ruochao to meet Pei Jingdu.
Meng Ruochao didn't show much reaction, but Pei Jingdu's subtle change in expression in that instant didn't escape his eyes.
It was definitely not just the reaction of seeing a stranger.
When Yan Sisi heard that Meng Ruochao's ex - boyfriend might be Pei Jingdu, she was also a bit shocked.
But soon, she curled her lips and didn't take it seriously.
"So what? It's been so long!"
"If he really cared about Ruochao, why didn't he come to look for her for so long?"
"With the Pei family's means, would they not even know that she had lost her memory and returned to China?"
"This shows that the two of them must have broken up a long time ago! Maybe it was that scumbag who abandoned her, which led to her car accident."
Seeing that Yan Sisi was getting more and more indignant, Yan Qiubai frowned.
"Ruochao... she's not the kind of person who would break up easily."
He retorted in a low voice, with a sourness in his tone that he didn't even notice.
"Moreover, she's very stubborn. Once she makes a decision, she won't easily turn back."
Just like when she firmly decided to break up with him, there was no room for negotiation.
After saying this, Yan Qiubai felt a sharp pain in his heart.
Wasn't he the one she had decisively "not looked back" on?
Yan Sisi also realized that this topic was a bit of a sore spot for her elder brother, so she quickly tried to make up for it and cheer him up.
"Hey, it's different! Think about it. That man made Ruochao have an abortion."
"What does this mean? It means that he didn't cherish her at all and didn't feel bad for her at all. It's definitely the behavior of a scumbag!"
"In this regard, brother, you still have a chance! At least you haven't done such a terrible thing, right?"