It was not until the cigarette butt burned his fingertip that Qin Mu seemed to snap out of the frozen air. His fingertip jerked sharply, and the burnt ash fluttered down into the wind.
He lowered his eyes and snuffed out the cigarette butt in the ashtray. For a moment, he didn't say a word.
“... Are you even listening?”
Yan Sisi's voice rose a bit, tinged with impatience.
“I'm saying, she even forgot you, her so - called 'first love'. Aren't you the least bit unwilling?”
Finally, Qin Mu slowly raised his eyes and looked at the small building with the wooden sign “Fuyunxuan” hanging outside the car window.
The glass reflected the bloodshot in his eyes, which were the result of staying up late for filming these days.
But at this moment, there was more of an emptiness that he himself didn't even notice.
He was silent for a few seconds. His voice was a bit hoarse, but there was no trace of emotion. It was as if he was talking to Yan Sisi and also confirming something to himself.
“Forget it if she doesn't remember.”
He raised his hand and rubbed the space between his eyebrows. His fingertips brushed across the tired corners of his eyes, and his tone carried a kind of stubborn gentleness.
“Not all the things in the past were good. Maybe it's actually a relief for her to forget.”
“Moreover, what first love? Others may not know, but don't you? It was all fake.”
Yan Sisi was taken aback. Apparently, she hadn't expected him to react like this.
In her impression, Qin Mu had always been proud.
When Meng Ruozhao left without a word back then, even though he was heart - broken, he never showed a hint of vulnerability in front of her.
Why was he so calm now in the face of being “forgotten”?
“On what grounds?” Yan Sisi frowned. “On what grounds can she leave whenever she wants and forget whenever she wants? What do we mean to her?”
Perhaps sensing the madness in Yan Sisi's tone.
Qin Mu turned his head and looked at Yan Sisi. There was finally some emotion in his eyes, but it wasn't anger. It was a faint sense of helplessness.
“Yan Sisi, admit it. You miss her more than you hate her.”
He paused for a moment, and his gaze fell back in the direction of [Fuyunxuan], as if he could see the busy figure inside through the door.
“I don't want to ask why. What I care more about is... she's back.”
He had rushed back like a madman not to make her recall the past entanglements, but just to see her with his own eyes.
Now that he had seen her, that was enough.
The assistant in the front seat spoke up again, “Teacher Qin, it's time to go back.”
The carriage fell silent again, except for the low rumble of the engine.
The black sedan quietly merged into the night. Qin Mu took one last look at [Fuyunxuan].
In the rear - view mirror, the warm yellow light was getting farther and farther away, and finally shrank into a tiny dot before disappearing from sight.
What he didn't say was that when he saw Meng Ruozhao looking so unfamiliar to him just now, his heart wasn't without a twinge of sourness.
But that sourness was finally suppressed by the thought that “she's back”.
It didn't matter if she didn't remember.
As long as she was still there and living a good life, that was enough.
Yan Sisi didn't say anything else either. It seemed that her innermost thoughts had been hit.
Or perhaps, in front of this person who “knew her through and through”, she was too lazy to put on a strong front and struggle anymore.
She really missed her.
Five years ago, Meng Ruozhao was like the sun.
She was not only dazzling, but everyone who got close to her could feel her warmth.
How did she and Meng Ruozhao meet?
It was a coincidence, to be honest.
At that time, the old man in her family was getting sicker and sicker. Her aunts, uncles, and伯伯 were all vying to get close to him.
And the old man thought most highly of Yan Qiubai.
When her parents saw that Yan Qiubai was in favor, they had always secretly and openly blamed her for not being a boy and not being excellent enough.
Her mother began to look for all kinds of folk remedies and see doctors just to have another son.
However, after trying for a long time, there was no result.
So her mother's look at her became weirder and weirder.
But the Yan family were all “decent people”. They didn't abuse her, nor did they straightforwardly dislike her for not being a boy and unable to compete with Yan Qiubai for the inheritance.
They just looked at her with disappointed eyes.
They would sigh in front of her.
For example, when her IELTS score was a bit low, her mother would sigh and say, “If you were a boy, you might be more focused. You wouldn't always be a step slower in everything.”
For example, when she won an Olympic math award at school, her father would just glance at the certificate and say indifferently, “It's a pity. In the future, the in - laws may not value these things.”
Those words were like fine sand, quietly seeping into her heart. As they accumulated, even breathing felt stuffy.
She began to avoid her family. She didn't want to go home after school and would always wander around the park near the school until it got dark.
That was when she met Meng Ruozhao.
That day, she was squatting beside a park bench, staring blankly at a slowly crawling ant on the ground. She couldn't hold back her tears, and one drop landed on the grass leaf next to the ant.
Then she heard a clear voice above her head: “What's wrong with you? Did the ant bully you?”
Yan Sisi looked up suddenly and saw Meng Ruozhao holding two ice - creams. There was a hint of curiosity in her eyes, but no trace of mockery.
She hurriedly wiped away her tears and tried to act as if nothing had happened, but her throat tightened, and she couldn't say a word.
Meng Ruozhao didn't urge her. She just squatted down beside her, handed her an ice - cream, and watched the ant with her.
“Buy one get one free, but no one can help me eat it. Can you help me?”
Yan Sisi took it.
Then the two girls squatted there, eating ice - creams and chatting.
Meng Ruozhao was very relaxed.
“I used to like watching ants carry things when I was unhappy.”
“Look at how small they are. They carry things several times bigger than themselves and never give up. It seems that no matter how difficult things are, as long as you keep going, you'll eventually reach your destination.”
That day, they squatted on the ground and talked for a long time. Yan Sisi didn't mention what was going on at home, and Meng Ruozhao didn't ask either. She just told her about the interesting things that had happened to her recently.
For example, when the school organized a camping trip in the village, she was chased by a chicken.
For example, she found an injured little wild cat in the park.
Her voice was soft and full of laughter, like a gentle breeze that dispelled a lot of the stuffiness in Yan Sisi's heart.
After that, they gradually got to know each other.
They were the same age and both in their senior year of high school.
But Meng Ruozhao was in Haicheng International School, while Yan Sisi was in Xinghe High School, another school famous for its high tuition fees.
Xinghe High School was also an international school. Besides the high tuition fees, there was another big difference between it and Haicheng International School.
In recent years, all the graduates of Xinghe High School had gone abroad directly after the college entrance examination.
Without exception.
Yan Sisi had decided on the country she was going to in her freshman year of high school.
But after entering her senior year, she became a bit unsure. Even her parents no longer mentioned sending her abroad.
The reason was simple. Yan Qiubai, who had been abroad, had come back.
Even though she was a girl, going abroad to study at this time would probably make the old man of the Yan family think even less of her.
At that time, Yan Sisi didn't know how to choose.
She just felt lost and as if there was no place for her.
Her family regarded her as a shoddy product that couldn't be sold at a good price. It was a pity that they couldn't come up with a substitute for the time being.
So they sighed at this shoddy product day after day.
She felt as if there was a dark cloud hanging over her head, raining day and night, threatening to drown her.
And Meng Ruozhao's appearance dispelled this dark cloud.