The moonlight was like water, pouring over the messy room and the two people huddled together.
The air was filled with a faint smell of blood and a kind of tranquility after a near - death experience.
Meng Ruozhao never let go of Pei Jiangmu's hand.
It seemed that through this close contact, she was passing her strength and support to him.
In the darkness, she could feel his body gradually stop trembling, and his tense muscles slowly relax. Only his breathing was still a bit heavy.
I don't know how much time had passed. Suddenly, without any warning, the light in the living room outside "snapped" on.
Meng Ruozhao was overjoyed and immediately turned on the light in the room.
The warm yellow light dispelled the darkness in the room.
However, the sudden brightness made both of them squint their eyes uncomfortably.
In the light, Pei Jiangmu's face was as pale as if it were transparent, his lips were bloodless, and there was still some cold sweat on his forehead.
His long eyelashes fluttered as he slowly lifted his eyelids and looked at Meng Ruozhao, who had squatted in front of him again, tightly holding his hand.
In those eyes that had just glowed with a terrifying red light, there was now only overwhelming vulnerability, guilt, and fear.
"I'm sorry..."
His voice was extremely hoarse, with a strong nasal tone.
Like a child who had done something wrong and didn't know what to do, he carefully observed her expression.
"I'm sorry... I scared you... I didn't mean to... I really couldn't control myself..."
Looking at him like this, the last bit of shock in Meng Ruozhao's heart dissipated, leaving only full - fledged heartache.
She shook her head, trying to make her tone as gentle as possible.
"It's okay. It's all over. Let's go out first. I'll treat your wounds, okay? You've lost so much blood..."
She helped him stand up.
Pei Jiangmu obediently followed her, his steps still a bit unsteady.
When they got to the living room, Meng Ruozhao took out the first - aid kit and carefully cleaned the criss - cross and unevenly deep wounds on his arm with iodine.
With each wipe, her heart tightened.
Some of the wounds were very deep, with the flesh turned out. Just looking at them made one feel pain.
"Do you really not need to go to the hospital?"
She asked worriedly, with disapproval in her voice.
"These wounds are too deep. You may need stitches."
Pei Jiangmu shook his head, avoiding her gaze, and said in a low voice.
"No, really no. This isn't the first time. I know what I'm doing."
He paused, as if organizing his words, and his voice became even lower.
"Before... when I felt stressed at school, I also went to talk to the school psychologist."
"The teacher said that I might just be under too much pressure, and because I was too lonely and lacked a sense of security, I developed this skin hunger disorder."
It was the first time Meng Ruozhao had heard this term from someone else.
At the same time, she was shocked that it was the same as what she had thought in her heart.
"Skin hunger disorder?"
"Yeah."
Pei Jiangmu's voice carried a hint of embarrassment.
"It's a... psychological illness."
"You'll suddenly have an extreme, extreme craving for physical contact..."
"If you don't get it, you'll feel anxious, panicked, and even, like just now, lose control."
He explained with difficulty, half - truthfully.
Meng Ruozhao's hand paused while treating the wound. She looked up at him, her eyes full of surprise and confusion.
"So what did you do when you had an episode before?"
Pei Jiangmu tugged at the corner of his mouth, showing a bitter smile.
"I endured it. When I really couldn't stand it, I would do what I just did. When it hurt enough, I could control it."
Was it really like this?
Meng Ruozhao was shocked beyond measure again and even forgot how to comfort him for a moment.
However, Pei Jiangmu quickly said again.
"Just now, I found that I felt much better when I hugged you, Sister."
"I've never felt this way with anyone else."
Meng Ruozhao was even more shocked.
"Why me?"
She didn't understand how she could become his only "cure" during an episode.
Pei Jiangmu seemed to have expected her to ask this.
He was silent for a moment before he lifted his eyes. Those still - teary eyes looked at her sincerely and vulnerably.
His tone carried a kind of cautious gratitude and dependence.
"Because you're the first person who doesn't think I'm a burden, doesn't think I'm a bad omen, and treats me well sincerely without asking for anything in return."
He lowered his head slightly, and there was a faint choke in his voice.
"Maybe, from the moment you took me in when I was injured, from the moment you never pushed me away every time I got close to you."
"In my subconscious, I've regarded you as my only safe haven."
"So when I have an episode, I'll desperately want to get close to you and touch you..."
"I'm sorry for causing you so much trouble and shock."
This explanation seemed reasonable.
Moreover, it wasn't completely a lie.
His illness was real, and the fact that only she could relieve it was also real.
It's just that the root cause was far deeper and more crazy than "dependence".
Listening to his words, Meng Ruozhao remembered the bruised and silent look on his face when he first came.
She also remembered the occasional uneasiness and caution he showed. Her heart softened completely.
So he had been under such psychological pressure...
"Then... is there anything I can do for you?"
She asked softly, with sincere worry in her voice.
"How can I make you feel better and reduce the frequency of your episodes?"
Pei Jiangmu suddenly lifted his head and looked at her against the light.
There was not a trace of disgust or fear in her clear eyes, only pure heartache, worry, and a gentle determination.
She really cared about him and really wanted to help him.
A sour warm current instantly surged through his body, almost breaking down all his defenses.
How he wanted to hug her tightly in his arms at this moment, to absorb the long - awaited sense of security and comfort.
But he forcefully held back.
He couldn't scare her away.
After being silent for a moment, as if he had made some kind of determination, his eyes dimmed, and his voice was low and difficult.
"I... I'd better move out."
"This kind of situation like today must never happen again. I can't scare you anymore."
"What if I completely lose control next time and hurt you..."
As he said this, he was about to pull back his bandaged hand.
He looked like he was ready to get up and leave immediately, in a broken state of self - exile.
"No!"
Without even thinking, Meng Ruozhao immediately tightened her grip on his hand, her tone a bit urgent.
"I won't allow you to move out. I said I'm not scared, really! I can swear to God!"
Looking at him like a wounded little beast who just wanted to hide and lick his wounds alone, she felt both anxious and heartache.
"I believe you didn't mean it. I'm also willing to help you."
"Tell me how I can help you. As long as I can do it!"
Meng Ruozhao's emotional ups and downs this evening were no less than Pei Jiangmu's.
So she didn't notice at all that when this bruised man had an episode, he called her "Chaol Chao".
After regaining his senses, he immediately changed it to "Sister".
Naturally, she also didn't notice that she was willingly walking into the well - crafted trap he had set.