With each word he uttered, the porcelain shard seemed to sink deeper into his skin uncontrollably.
Bathed in the moonlight, he resembled a demonic specter lost in boundless agony.
He was punishing himself in the most extreme way.
Sinister, broken, shocking, and above all... heart - wrenching.
All of Meng Ruozhao's fear and hesitation vanished at this moment, leaving only overwhelming heartache and panic.
"Pei Jiangmu! Stop!" she screamed as she rushed towards him.
Her heart was pounding wildly in her chest, threatening to break through her ribs.
In this situation, she should have left the house immediately, found someone, or called the police.
In any case, she shouldn't have stayed in the same room with him.
However, she watched Pei Jiangmu under the moonlight, using the shards to hurt himself. He was covered in blood but seemed oblivious to the pain.
All her fear was replaced by a familiar, heart - rending ache.
It was as if she had experienced this before.
She rushed in front of him, her voice sharp and trembling due to extreme panic and worry.
"Pei Jiangmu! Stop! Don't do this! Let go now!"
Hearing her voice, Pei Jiangmu's body trembled violently. Like a person scalded, he curled up even more.
He hid his bleeding arm tightly behind his back, while the other hand waved randomly. His voice was broken, filled with painful pleas.
"Don't come closer! Zhaozhao..."
"Please... stay away from me... don't look... go away! Just go away!"
His voice was shaking uncontrollably, mixed with heavy, almost dying gasps.
"I'm... hideous now... repulsive... I'm a monster..."
"You can't look... you'll hate me... you'll be scared of me... go!"
The remaining shreds of his sanity were screaming at him to stay away from her.
But deep within his body, the skin hunger that had built up to the peak due to the darkness, anxiety, and the long - time inability to touch her.
It was like millions of ants gnawing at his nerves, desperately craving her warmth and touch.
These two extreme forces were tearing him apart.
Only the physical pain could barely suppress that destructive craving.
It could also remind him not to hurt her or scare her away.
Meng Ruozhao watched him struggle and suffer like a wounded beast.
She heard the self - loathing and fear in his words.
She realized that he hadn't suddenly turned into a beast; he was sick.
A mental illness had suddenly flared up.
Strangely enough, although she had never learned about mental illnesses, a term popped into her mind - skin hunger.
He was having an episode of skin hunger.
This realization forced her to calm down.
She took a deep breath and tried to make her voice sound steady and gentle, although the tail - end of her words still trembled uncontrollably.
"Pei Jiangmu, listen to me. It's okay. Everything is okay now."
She slowly, step by step, approached him, as if approaching a terrified little animal.
"It's just a power outage. The electricity will come back soon."
"Look, the moonlight is bright. I'm here. I'm with you."
She tried to soothe him with her words.
Her eyes were fixed on his hand hidden behind his back, from which blood was still dripping. Her heart ached painfully.
"But you can't hurt yourself like this."
"Your hand... it just got better. Do you want to ruin it again?"
"I took such good care of your wound. Have you forgotten?"
She mentioned the time when she had treated his wound, trying to evoke some gentle and familiar memories in him.
Pei Jiangmu's body trembled violently at her words, emitting a whimper.
He raised his head. Tears and cold sweat mingled on his pale face.
His blood - shot eyes were filled with great pain and despair.
"But I'm a monster..."
"Zhaozhao... I might hurt you uncontrollably..."
"I'll scare you... please leave... get out of here..."
Meng Ruozhao interrupted him firmly.
"I'm not scared!"
She had walked in front of him and slowly squatted down to look him in the eye.
Under the moonlight, she could see the bottomless fear and self - loathing in his eyes.
It felt as if an invisible hand was squeezing her heart tightly, making it ache sourly.
"I was just a bit surprised earlier."
"Now, I'm really worried about you, Pei Jiangmu."
Her voice unconsciously became softer, filled with undisguised heartache.
"Seeing you like this... it hurts here."
She pointed at her chest.
As she spoke, she no longer hesitated. She reached out her hand.
Carefully yet firmly, she grabbed his wrist that was tightly clutching the sharp porcelain shard.
Pei Jiangmu trembled violently and instinctively tried to break free. His strength was astonishing.
But Meng Ruozhao held on to him with all her might, preventing him from hurting himself further. Her voice was filled with unwavering determination and a hint of a sob.
"Let go! Pei Jiangmu, let go of the shard. Be obedient."
Maybe her touch really had some kind of strange soothing power.
Or perhaps the heartache and determination in her words penetrated his chaotic consciousness.
Pei Jiangmu's struggling strength gradually weakened.
Taking the opportunity, Meng Ruozhao, finger by finger, with great difficulty but unwavering determination, pried open his tightly - clenched fingers.
She carefully took out the sharp porcelain shard covered in blood and threw it far into the corner.
After completing all this, she let out a sigh of relief but still didn't let go of his wrist.
Instead, she quickly checked the hideous wounds on his arm with her other hand.
Blood was still oozing out, making her eyes well up with tears.
Afraid to leave his side, she simply pulled off his sports short - sleeve and tried to stop the bleeding by applying pressure. After all, the fabric of her dress was too thick to tear.
Throughout the whole process, Pei Jiangmu was extremely quiet.
His body was still trembling slightly. He kept his head down, not daring to look at her, like a child who had done something wrong and was waiting for judgment, broken and helpless.
While quickly treating his wounds, Meng Ruozhao continued to soothe him with the gentlest voice she could muster, even though her own mind was in a complete mess.
"It's okay... it's okay..."
"Pei Jiangmu, if there's something bothering you, if you're sad and in pain, you can tell me."
"Although I may not understand completely, I'll listen."
"Don't always bear it alone, and don't hurt yourself like this, okay?"
Her fingertips were cold due to nervousness.
When they touched his hot, bleeding arm, they brought a strange, comforting coolness.
Pei Jiangmu felt her gentle movements and her trembling but determined soothing words.
His tightly - strung nerves finally seemed to find a floating log to cling to.
The destructive hunger and mania seemed to be fading away bit by bit.
In their place came overwhelming exhaustion and... greed.
He greedily clung to this hard - won, redemptive touch.
He had always been obsessed with it like a man possessed.