She hadn't had a full night's sleep for days and always woke up suddenly in the middle of the night.
With the help of anesthesia, Wen Baozhu finally got a good night's sleep.
Different from the chaotic and jumbled dreams of the previous days, this time in her dream, there was nothing but the blinding white everywhere and the noisy voices.
She could feel something being cut into pieces inside her body and then cleared out bit by bit.
It was as if a part of her body was being forcefully and completely torn away from her.
She wanted to stop it, but was powerless to do so.
She could only watch helplessly.
It wasn't until the chaos ended and the world returned to quiet again.
She walked in the white mist for a long, long time until she regained consciousness and opened her eyes.
Her memory was blank for a moment. She took a look at the surrounding environment and realized that she was back in the hospital ward again.
She tried to sit up, but the deep - seated pain tugged at her, making her suck in a sharp breath involuntarily.
Why was her body in so much pain? It felt as if she had been beaten all over without mercy, and she didn't even dare to breathe too hard.
As if suddenly remembering something, she instinctively placed her hand on her lower abdomen.
The area that had been slightly bulging was now as flat as a pancake, with no sign of any protrusion.
The baby was gone.
The moment this thought flashed through her mind, her head "buzzed" so loudly that she almost went deaf.
Just then, the door of the ward was opened.
The man in the same suit he wore at the funeral walked in. His gaze landed on her, but there was little emotion in his eyes.
"Awake?"
He asked as casually as if nothing special had happened, not mentioning anything else.
Wen Baozhu blurted out directly, "The baby is gone, isn't it?"
Fu Lian was silent.
In fact, as a pregnant woman, the physical sensations on her body were clearer than any standard answer.
But she still needed to hear the answer with her own ears. It seemed that only in this way could she completely give up hope.
Fu Lian frowned slightly, weighing how to give a gentle answer. Finally, he said, "If you want, you'll have another one in the future."
Wen Baozhu fell silent.
How could there be such a moment of despair? She had just seen her grandmother off and hadn't fully digested her grief. In the blink of an eye, the new life that was supposed to be born had also prematurely withered.
Her eyes turned red in an instant.
Fu Lian took a few steps closer to the bedside and reached out to hug her. "It just wasn't the right time. You'll be in luck later."
It was hard to imagine that such a consoling word would come from his mouth.
However, Wen Baozhu still continued to cry. Her throat was hoarse and she couldn't make a sound, only emitting muffled sobs.
She cried and said, "It's all my fault... I didn't take good care of myself. I killed my baby."
She gasped for air, her throat choking and dry. "Why is there such an irresponsible mother like me? I'm simply a murderer."
The two blows in a short period were too much for her to bear.
Because she couldn't figure out Fu Lian's true attitude, she had actually never said what she really thought.
Even when she said she didn't want the baby last time, it was just a spur - of - the - moment outburst during an argument with Fu Lian.
Who would have known that it would come true.
In fact, she really wanted this baby.
From the unexpected pregnancy at the beginning to the bits and pieces of the past few months of pregnancy, she had already started to look forward to the arrival of this new life.
However, a series of accidents had also tested this baby.
There were already signs of threatened miscarriage at first. Then, after the accidental fall into the sea and before her body had fully recovered, she had to immediately face the departure of her beloved relative.
The physical and psychological blows had taken a toll on her. It was already very difficult for her to hold on until now, let alone a few - month - old baby.
Fu Lian wiped away her tears and softly comforted her, "It's just that the timing is wrong now. The baby will come back when you've recovered. Don't blame yourself."
She cried until she couldn't make a sound, leaning on Fu Lian's chest. She cried until her head buzzed and until she suffered from respiratory alkalosis. The doctor even rushed over for rescue.
After calming down, she lay quietly on the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling.
After going through all this, Fu Lian was also physically and mentally exhausted.
He stared at the woman on the bed and could see that her mind was wandering. He didn't know what she was thinking.
Until her hoarse voice sounded in the room. "Actually, I bought two sets of baby clothes."
"I was afraid that Fu Sheng would see them, so I put them in the innermost part of the wardrobe in the villa." Her voice was soft as she sank into memories. "I saw them by chance while shopping before the New Year. They were really cute styles."
At that time, she was still hesitating whether to buy them.
"I didn't know if it was a boy or a girl, so I bought two different - colored ones, thinking that they would definitely come in handy."
She talked to herself. "I even thought at that time that maybe I bought them too early, but I was afraid of missing them. The clothes in the store are always updated quickly, and it's the same for kids' clothes."
She suddenly stopped speaking at the end.
The way she calmly stated every word was like tiny, fine needles, stabbing people's hearts.
Wen Baozhu closed her eyes and tightly pursed her lips. She couldn't speak or make a sound anymore.
All that was left were her twitching shoulders and silent tears.
"You can't force a baby. After you've recovered, you'll have another one." Fu Lian said with difficulty. "If you're fated, it will come back."
Wen Baozhu didn't say a word.
She knew very well in her heart that it wouldn't come back.
Her grandmother wouldn't come back, and neither would the baby.
Wen Baozhu cried for a long time, almost crying out all the tears in her life.
She always thought that she didn't have many tears.
It must be retribution. Since she hadn't cried much before, God couldn't stand her not liking to cry and deliberately made her bear the saddest fate.
In extreme grief, she cried in Fu Lian's arms, "I have no home anymore."
He didn't find her annoying. Instead, he wiped away her tears again and again, gently kissed her forehead, and said, "Don't you still have me?"
In the following nights, her sleep was intermittent. Sometimes, she would wake up suddenly and shed silent tears after only sleeping for less than twenty minutes.
Although there was no sound, Fu Lian, who was lying on another bed in the same room, would always sit up immediately and hold her in his arms.
Fu Lian had always had a bad temper.
But at this moment, his temper was surprisingly good.
After staying in the hospital in Fucheng for another week, the doctor announced that Wen Baozhu could be discharged from the hospital and go home for recuperation.
On the plane back to Hong Kong, Wen Baozhu stared blankly out of the window.
In fact, she had been in a daze quite often recently.
Fu Lian had been paying close attention to her every move recently. Seeing her staring intently out of the window, he thought she was reluctant to leave Fucheng.
"If you want to come back in the future, just ask A Yan to accompany you anytime."
She had suffered too many blows recently, and he was indulging her without limit.
Wen Baozhu turned her face around blankly and just shook her head. "No need."
She pursed her lips and said softly, "I'll never come back again."
From then on, Fucheng was no longer her hometown.
It was her nightmare.