The journey back to the palace went smoothly. It wasn't long before they arrived.
I wonder if you've ever had this feeling. The more you long to go to a certain place, the slower the journey there seems when you set off. But once it's time to return, it feels as if the trip back is incredibly fast. It's the same road, yet the different moods make it seem like a different journey.
Sitting in the carriage, I watched the lights gradually brightening behind me. A sense of melancholy welled up in my heart. The day of freedom and ease was over. Once back, I'd still be the well - behaved princess, adored by everyone and living a carefree life.
But was I really carefree? I looked at the numerous guards in front of the palace gate. They stood upright there, regardless of the weather. Without realizing it, I thought of Qi Yuan. I wondered where in the palace he was at that moment, gazing at the moon, thinking about his hometown and... his wife back home...
"Xihe? Xihe!" I was suddenly pulled back to reality by my elder brother waving his hand in front of me. "What's wrong?"
"What were you thinking about? You seem unhappy," my brother asked with concern.
I glanced at my brother and then caught a glimpse of Yu Chi Cheng deep in thought beside him. I forced a smile and said, "It's nothing. I'm just a bit reluctant to leave."
"Reluctant to part with whom? The beautiful man in red?" My brother suddenly leaned over with a mischievous smile.
Remembering my previous gaffe, I blushed and hit him. "You're so annoying! Stop talking nonsense!"
This bit of playfulness dispelled my previous gloom.
Back in the palace, I lay on my bed exhausted, but I just couldn't fall asleep. The events of the day were still fresh in my memory. I was even startled to find myself unconsciously thinking about that red - clothed man whom I'd only met twice. Didn't I like Qi Yuan very much? Why did I keep thinking about a stranger after only two encounters?
I tossed and turned in bed, unable to sleep soundly. After some thought, I decided to hug my little jade pillow and go to my mother.
Outside the Qiwu Palace, I stood bare - footed in my inner clothes. Seeing the lights still on inside, I took a deep breath and walked towards the palace maid keeping watch outside. I asked if the emperor was there tonight. I'd rushed here on impulse and only then realized that my rudeness might disrupt my parents.
Thankfully, the emperor had something urgent to attend to and wasn't there. I let out a sigh of relief and then carefully followed the palace maid into the Qiwu Palace.
At that moment, my mother's long black hair was loose. Her fair little face was lowered as she embroidered something stitch by stitch in front of the lamp. My mother was still as beautiful as ever. I couldn't help but call out, "Mother..."
Hearing my voice, my mother looked up. She was startled for a moment when she saw me coming in, then a smile spread across her lips. She put down what she was doing and walked towards me, asking softly, "Xihe, why are you here?"
I smelled my mother's familiar fragrance. My nose twitched and I threw myself into her arms, crying, "Mother!"
No matter how tired or sad a person is, there's always a place to find comfort, and that's in a mother's arms. It's warm and soft, a place that gave you life and can shield you from disasters.
My mother squatted down, hugging me. She kissed my face twice and looked at me with a smile. "Your third younger sister and fourth younger brother are already asleep. Why did you come here, Xihe?"
Her eyes were so beautiful, sparkling in the lamplight, containing all the warmth I yearned for. I hugged her and rubbed my head against her neck, coquettishly saying, "Xihe wants to sleep with mother..."
My mother smiled, stood up, and took my hand, walking towards the bed. "Okay, then Xihe will sleep with mother tonight..."
I obediently lay on the inner side of the bed. I let my mother tuck me in, then snuggled into her arms and hugged her tightly.
"What's wrong with Xihe today?" My mother's voice was unusually gentle.
I looked into her bright eyes. Finally, I buried my head in her chest, listening to the heartbeat I'd been accustomed to since I was in her womb. I mumbled, "Mother, what does it feel like to like someone?"
My mother stroked my head and said, "Liking someone means you want to be with them all the time. You like to see their smiles, their playfulness. You like to see them get angry with you after you tease them. You like their care, their affection, every moment with them. There are many kinds of likes, but each can affect your mood."
I asked, "Is it possible that I like someone very much, but after being rejected by them, I immediately become interested in someone else?"
My mother smiled and said, "Interest might just be curiosity. It doesn't necessarily mean liking."
She paused for a moment, then gently tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear and asked, "Why are you asking this, Xihe? Has something happened recently?"
I said, "Mother, I like Lord Qi Yuan very much. But he told me that he's already married and asked me not to look for him. You always tell me that meeting someone is fate. I think he's my fate. I like to see him smile, to see his obsession with the moon, to see him seriously looking for my jade pendant, and to see his unconditional indulgence towards me. But why does he have to be married?"
My mother continued to stroke my long hair and softly said, "In this world, besides fate, there's also fortune. If Qi Yuan is really married, it just means that you two are fated but have no fortune. In fact, only when you meet at the right time is it fate. Meeting at the wrong time, the person might just be an important passer - by in your life."
"Mother, have you ever met such a passer - by?" I looked up at my mother's calm face. My mother smiled and nodded. "Yes. He used to always stay by my side, always appearing when I was at my most desperate. He was my lifelong friend."
Maybe there was a hint of melancholy on my mother's face. I couldn't help but ask, "Mother, have you ever regretted it over the years? Maybe if you'd chosen him, your life would have been completely different."
My mother shook her head with a smile. "Never. Mother is very happy with your father now. I only want to spend the rest of my life with him."
I suddenly sighed and said, "Then how many passers - by will there be in my life? By the way, mother, I met a man in the market outside the palace today. He was dressed in red, cold and extremely beautiful. I couldn't help but be lost in thought when I saw him. Even after I came back to the palace, I still remembered his appearance. I thought I liked Qi Yuan and wouldn't be interested in other men. But why is this happening?"
Hearing this, my mother looked thoughtful and asked, "How beautiful is he exactly?"
I recalled our first encounter in my mind, but I couldn't find the words to describe him in front of my mother. I just said, "He's extremely beautiful!"
My mother laughed and softly said, "People are naturally drawn to beautiful things. It's human nature. If you suddenly see a beauty different from the ones you usually meet, it's normal to react like that. It has nothing to do with who you like or dislike. Don't worry, Xihe. Even if one day you find that you really like that person, it doesn't matter. You can just chase him and bring him back to make Qi Yuan jealous."
Hearing this, I felt embarrassed and buried my head in my mother's arms. "Mother, how can you say such things?"
But my mother said, "Before a woman determines who her fated one is, she should have the right to choose. Only in this way will men not think that you only belong to them."
"But..."
My mother gave a mysterious smile. "Xihe, come closer. I'll tell you slowly..."