Ji Feiyu secretly calmed herself down, fearing that an impulsive act on her part would ruin this wedding. Whose wedding was this exactly? Hers with Ji Feiyu's? Or his with someone else's? She didn't know. All she knew was that on the eve of the wedding night, she was in a state of inexplicable panic, just like a newly - wed bride.
The hourglass marking time kept running. Finally, Ji Feiyu waited for that person to enter the room. To her surprise, the first thing he did after entering was not to lift her veil but to close the door and say, "Are you really not going to regret it? That day, you stood in front of me and said that even without my love, you would stand by my side in the future to accompany me in place of another woman."
When Ji Feiyu heard this, her mind went blank for a moment. It took her a long time to come to her senses and realize that this was the agreement between Shuanghua and him at the beginning.
As he spoke, he took a few steps closer to Ji Feiyu. The familiar voice rang in her ear, making her feel like she was in a dream.
How long had it been since she last heard his voice? Why did his voice sound so weak?
"Fine. I'll ask you one more time. You told me that you don't want my love, but only wish to stay by my side in that high position. Is it true? You said you would silence the gossiping world for me. You said you were willing to sacrifice your freedom for the rest of your life and die in this deep palace. Is it true? If you're not the least bit reluctant, then the wedding will be completed tonight. If you regret it, you still have a chance to leave now."
His voice was desolate and a bit tired, flat and without any ripples. But for Ji Feiyu, it was like a huge wave crashing in her heart! So this was what Shuanghua had told him. So this was why he had agreed to her. But why did her heart ache when she heard the words "high position", "freedom", and "deep palace"? Had she made such a promise to him a long time ago? But in the end, she had left him alone, left him alone in the sea of power struggles, left him alone in the loneliest deep palace.
"It's true," Ji Feiyu heard her own voice, suppressed and a bit trembling.
He seemed to let out a long sigh of relief and then said, "I really didn't expect there would be someone as stupid as you in this world. You clearly know this is unfair to you, but if you insist on helping me out of this situation, I won't let you down. I can give you everything, except my heart."
So this was the reason why he had given Shuanghua a wedding ceremony. Ji Feiyu suddenly understood.
"I know," Ji Feiyu felt a dull pain in her heart. She steadied herself and took a deep breath to calm her emotions.
"Then from today on, you are the Empress Shuanghua of the Great Yong. No one can shake your status. I'll ask you one more time. Are you really willing to spend the rest of your life with me, a heartless person?"
"I am," Ji Feiyu replied softly.
He let out a long breath. "Good. Then I won't let you leave." When she heard this, Ji Feiyu inexplicably wanted to cry. The white clouds drifted by, and the years passed. The past friendship had dissipated, but the memories were like a knife named time.
The bedroom fell into an endless silence. Only then did Yong Yaxuan slowly walk over and sit down beside her. He took her hand and said, "When you voluntarily said these words to me, I thought you were joking, so I specially sent a letter to your country. But I didn't expect your brother and sister - in - law would also agree. Seeing your eagerness and not knowing the danger, I fulfilled your wish. But from now on, no matter how difficult the road is, it's your own choice. You can't blame others."
Ji Feiyu felt the warmth of his hand. Her heart was almost twisted into a knot. She didn't know why she had to listen to him say these things as Shuanghua, and the more she listened, the sadder she became. He was sitting beside her just like he had done hundreds of times before, but she felt a sense of estrangement between them. He seemed to have changed in some way, yet also seemed unchanged.
"Why are there people in this world who look so alike, even with the same temperature in their palms? The first time I saw you, your small figure was just like hers back then." Suddenly, he held Ji Feiyu's hand, leaned down, and laid his head on her lap. Through the gap under the veil, she looked at his desolate back and suddenly felt so desolate herself.
If she had another chance to be with him, could they start like this?
The thought of blurting out who she was that had been on the tip of her tongue was held back by Ji Feiyu. She began to wonder why he didn't lift the veil himself to see who she was. Why was he rambling on to a stranger? Or did he think that she like this could make him relax more?
"Did you marry me just because I touched you?" Ji Feiyu asked in Shuanghua's voice and tone.
His head moved on her lap, finding a comfortable position to lie down. Then he said, "Not entirely. On the one hand, it's to silence the court officials who keep urging me to establish an empress and a crown prince. On the other hand, it's to stop the fight in the harem for the position of empress. But the ceremony to enfeoff you as the empress can be postponed for a few days. I have some things to deal with these days and I'm a bit tired."
According to the regulations, the ceremony to enfeoff the empress should be held on the day after the wedding, which means announcing to the world that she was officially established as the empress, bestowing the imperial seal on her, and then he would hold a grand banquet for the court officials. Only then would the wedding be officially completed. But now, he suddenly wanted to postpone the ceremony. Presumably, he wanted Shuanghua to think it over again... But if she wasn't officially enfeoffed as the empress in the palace, even though she had a grand wedding with the emperor, wouldn't she still be looked down upon?
Ji Feiyu couldn't help but say, "As a princess from a foreign country, even if I'm established as the empress, won't I be bullied?"
Hearing this, Yong Yaxuan laughed. "Not necessarily. You can cause a few things to show your authority. Empress Feiyu used to do this." His words were so gentle that it made people want to indulge in them.
"Then... do you still like her?" On an impulse, Ji Feiyu blurted out the question she had always wanted to ask. When she was in the North Cold, she had been in a state of uneasiness, afraid that he no longer liked her. She was afraid that her active actions would be in vain, so she had been avoiding the issue.
Hearing this, Yong Yaxuan didn't answer directly. He just said, "You are very much like her."
"Is she really dead?"
He gave a desolate smile. "She will always live in my heart."
Ji Feiyu couldn't help but fall silent. She had to admit that Yong Yaxuan's words were so ingenious. Those who thought she was dead would surely believe that she was really dead after hearing this, while those who thought she was still alive could also interpret it as the emperor deliberately avoiding the question.
After Yong Yaxuan seemed to sense something about her that was very similar to Ji Feiyu, he suddenly pressed her hand against his face and rubbed it for a while and said, "Your hands are very much like hers, but there are calluses on your hands from horse - riding and archery. Otherwise, I would surely think that she had come back to tease me again. Alas... If only she could be as quiet as you and listen to me talk." She used to be so naughty that I didn't know what to do with her."
By now, Ji Feiyu's hands had calluses from long - term horse - riding and archery and were no longer as delicate as before. And the scars on the back of her hands were also hidden by the wedding dress.