She said that she couldn't stand in the way of that person's happiness.
She said that she was no longer qualified to stand by his side. It would be good if there was someone trustworthy beside him.
She said that it was all in the past and had nothing to do with her.
She said that since he didn't reject her, he must like Shuanghua quite a bit. Then Shuanghua was surely going to be happy.
Yu Chi Yanyan stared at her for a long time. Finally, he put down his pen and sighed. It seemed as if he was seeing this woman clearly for the first time, yet it also seemed as if he would never truly understand her.
As for herself, her heart had long been numb and no longer felt pain. To be honest, she was quite shocked when she heard the news. Later, the shock turned into heartache and then into a sense of loss.
She had thought that after four years, she had let go and moved on. However, she found that the marks left by their past were not so easy to erase. Some people said that if the thorn in one's heart couldn't be removed, it should be buried deep. Ji Feiyu had buried it, but one day, it was accidentally dug out again.
She didn't blame Shuanghua because it was Shuanghua who forced her to face her true feelings and the things she had been avoiding. If it weren't for her cowardice and timidity, things between her and him wouldn't have ended up this way.
She couldn't both refuse to see him and hold him back from starting a new life. If he could let go, then she could too.
During that time, Ji Feiyu was in a bad mood but pretended to be okay. She still smiled in front of everyone and acted as if nothing mattered. Maybe she thought she could deceive everyone, but she couldn't deceive Hua Hudie.
He said, "There's no smile in your eyes. Why are you smiling?"
He said, "The wind is strong in the north. Take good care of yourself."
He said, "One less person to entangle with, one more person to accompany you."
He said, "When I'm better, I'll take you out to relax."
He said, "Our Ling'er isn't that fragile. Your good brother supports you!"
He always chattered a lot around her, but she only remembered these few sentences.
One day, she helped Hua Hudie into the courtyard and sat on the steps to watch the moon. After helping him sit down, she somehow produced a pot of good wine and sat down beside him.
She poured herself a cup of wine, took a small sip, and sighed, "The wine in the north is really refreshing!"
After saying that, she poured another cup and drank it in one gulp. When she was about to pour the third cup, Hua Hudie snatched the cup from her and drank it all. He said, "If you don't want me to get better, just keep drinking. For every cup you drink, I'll drink one with you."
In the moonlight, his clear eyes like glass were filled with worried looks, which suddenly made her figure out many things.
Indeed, the past was the past. Otherwise, she wouldn't have stayed in the north for three years. Well, if everyone else had let go, should she consider starting a new relationship? Thinking of this, Ji Feiyu suddenly felt relieved.
It turned out that she had still harbored illusions about him and hadn't truly let go. She always thought that they had just separated temporarily and that one day he would come to find her on a tall horse and take her back.
She guessed that she must have gotten used to the person who sheltered her from the wind and rain. That's why she hoped more when things seemed more impossible because that was after all the most beautiful time of her life, worthy of a lifetime of memories.
After figuring these things out, she could finally let down her guard and move forward easily.
"Alright, I won't drink anymore. I'll really smile from now on." Ji Feiyu poured the whole pot of wine onto the bluestone slabs under the steps. Then she lifted her silk robe and stood up. She gave Hua Hudie a faint smile and said, "You've never seen me dance, have you? How about I dance one for you today?"
For a moment after Ji Feiyu said that, Hua Hudie seemed to be in a daze. He must have thought she was drunk. He must have. Without caring about his reaction, she lifted her silk robe and started spinning on the open space in the moonlight.
This might be the last day she remembered the past. She silently told herself in her heart that from then on, she would have no past.
She danced to her heart's content. It wasn't exactly happiness or sadness. She just suddenly let herself go in that environment.
The impulse to dance might be such an unpredictable thing. She even felt an urge to hug Hua Hudie when she saw him sitting alone in the moonlight.
Maybe she was really drunk that night.
Well, she must have been.
...
Time passed, and Hua Hudie got better day by day. At the same time, along with Hua Hudie's recovery, Shuanghua was sent back by the emperor of Dayong with a large amount of betrothal gifts. The emperor only said that the princess's grand wedding and the alliance between the two countries were major events and must be carefully prepared. So he sent Shuanghua back to prepare for a grand wedding.
Yu Chi Yanyan took the alliance letter somewhat awkwardly, while Ji Feiyu surrounded Shuanghua and asked her with a big smile about her experiences in Dayong.
Shuanghua looked at her. There was a hint of sadness on her happy face. Then she said, "Aunt, can I tell you these things before I go to bed? So many things have really happened in the past few months..."
Ji Feiyu thought that Shuanghua had noticed something and thought she was unhappy. She quickly patted her with a smile and said, "Okay, okay. We'll talk about this later. Go and see your brother and sister - in - law. Everyone has missed you very much in the months you've been away."
"I've missed everyone too." Shuanghua smiled at her and walked over slowly.
For some reason, this time when she came back, Ji Feiyu always felt that there was something different about this girl, but she couldn't tell what it was. Ji Feiyu watched her walk over and talk to Ran Wei and Yu Chi Yanyan. She thought she must be overthinking and was about to leave. Who would have thought that as soon as she turned around, she bumped into Hua Hudie who had rushed in.
When he saw Ji Feiyu, his eyes lit up. He walked over, grabbed her hand, and left directly. "Hurry up. The horses are ready. I'll take you to a place!"
"Where?" Ji Feiyu couldn't help but be curious and stopped in her tracks.
Hua Hudie gave her a mysterious smile. "The place I promised to take you to when I was recovering from my illness. You won't regret it!"
After saying that, he directly dragged Ji Feiyu away in front of everyone. Everyone was a bit surprised.
Outside the palace, the sun was shining brightly. Two rouge horses were running at full speed. Their hooves were amazing, and they ran like the wind. For a moment, she thought she had gone back ten years.
Ten years of wind, sand, and dust. With whom can I return while singing with my sword?
The galloping horses suddenly made her heart feel more open.
She couldn't help but ask, "So where are you really taking me?"
"You'll know soon!" There was a faint smile on Hua Hudie's clean and handsome face. A few strands of his hair by his ears were a bit messy in the rushing wind. In the sunlight, everything was so beautiful.