"Elder Brother!" Yong Yaxuan strode in through the door.
Yong Chengxuan smiled and said, "Yaxuan has lost weight recently. I suppose you've been toiling over state affairs again."
Yong Yaxuan also smiled. "Elder Brother, you haven't changed a bit over the years."
Yong Chengxuan said, "Strangely enough, I've been here for half a day. Why haven't I seen Feiyu?"
The smile on Yong Yaxuan's face froze. As if recalling something, pain gradually showed in his eyes.
After a while, he lowered his head and murmured, "Elder Brother, it's all my fault. I failed to protect her in the end."
The smile on Yong Chengxuan's face gradually faded. Then he patted his shoulder and sighed, "You... don't need to blame yourself. You've done your best."
Yong Yaxuan looked up in surprise. "You don't blame me?"
Yong Chengxuan smiled. "Because in my heart, both of you are equally important! I don't want you to suffer over things that can't be undone."
Hearing these words, Yong Yaxuan suddenly had an epiphany. Why hadn't he thought of this? If both of them were equally important, why should he torture the living because of the dead?
He suddenly felt ashamed. His elder brother had entrusted his beloved to him back then, probably because he had seen his feelings for her. And yet, years later, he had been jealous of his own elder brother just because she still missed him.
At least he shouldn't have.
Yong Yaxuan suddenly felt extremely remorseful.
"It's all my fault, it's all my fault..."
Yong Chengxuan gently hugged him and patted him to comfort him. "My dear younger brother, you should look forward. We'll always be watching over you from places you can't see."
Yong Yaxuan looked up again and saw his elder brother smiling as he disappeared.
He suddenly woke up from the dream, his face covered in tears.
Elder Brother, Zitong...
The night was cold in the long courtyard. In the huge palace, he was left all alone, staying awake until dawn in the long night.
The next night, Yong Yaxuan couldn't hold back and burned another packet of hallucinogenic powder.
The dream came again.
This time, he was back before he entered the palace.
Yong Yaxuan saw two familiar figures approaching gracefully. They were Ji Feiyu and Yong Chengxuan.
The two of them walked hand in hand on Changle Street.
As they walked, they suddenly stopped. Ji Feiyu pulled Yong Chengxuan's hands and shook them. "Brother Chengxuan, it's so lively on the street today on Qixi Festival! What shall we eat later?"
Yong Chengxuan looked at her with a gentle smile in his eyes. "Naturally, you can eat whatever you want. I'll accompany you."
"Brother Chengxuan is the best." Ji Feiyu said with a smile.
The two of them walked and stopped along the way, buying a lot of snacks on the street. Yong Yaxuan silently followed behind them. After the dream of the first day, he didn't seem to be as averse to their holding hands.
At this time, a little kid ran over with a basket of hairpins and pestered Yong Chengxuan. "Big brother, choose a hairpin for the elder sister. They're all newly woven by me."
Yong Chengxuan smiled and said, "Okay." Then he really bought one. He looked at Ji Feiyu, chose a hairpin that matched her clothes best today, and pinned it on her head, saying softly, "My Yu'er still looks the most beautiful."
Seeing this scene, Yong Yaxuan involuntarily clenched his hands, but quickly let go. At the same time, he kept warning himself not to be angry, not to be angry. It was nothing, it was nothing.
Ji Feiyu pulled Yong Chengxuan and continued walking. The two of them chatted and laughed, not noticing Yong Yaxuan following behind at all.
Before they knew it, it was evening. The two of them came to the moat.
Yong Chengxuan pulled Ji Feiyu and said, "Yu'er, shall we go and release a few river lanterns?"
Ji Feiyu immediately said, "Okay, okay!" Then she pulled Yong Chengxuan and ran all the way to the river. Her lively and innocent look really made Yong Yaxuan miss her so much.
But at this time, countless river lanterns were floating on the river. The river lanterns reflected on the water waves, forming beautiful reflections. It was really a sight to behold.
Yong Chengxuan and Ji Feiyu also bought two river lanterns, wrote down their wishes, and released them into the river. As soon as they released them, Ji Feiyu asked, "What did you write, Brother Chengxuan?"
"May I live in peace with my beloved for the rest of my life." Yong Chengxuan answered generously and then asked, "What about you, Yu'er? What did you write?"
"Of course, it's to be a loving couple for life." Ji Feiyu answered with a smile.
The two of them looked into each other's eyes, only seeing each other. At this moment, Yong Chengxuan gently put his arm around Ji Feiyu and let her lean on his chest. "It would be so nice if I could always be with Yu'er like this."
Ji Feiyu said, "But we are always together like this, aren't we?"
At this moment, Yong Yaxuan couldn't help but hold his breath. He couldn't hold back and coughed softly as he walked out.
Ji Feiyu and Yong Chengxuan looked at him strangely, as if they had never known him before.
Ji Feiyu couldn't help but ask, "Who are you? You've been following us secretly all the way. What do you want?" Then she looked at Chengxuan. "Brother Chengxuan, do you know him?"
Yong Chengxuan shook his head.
Yong Yaxuan said discontentedly, "Elder Brother, it's me."
Just as he was about to say something else, the dream dissipated.
Yong Yaxuan woke up and found that it was already dawn. It really was a long dream.
Yong Yaxuan was stabbed by the scene in the dream. He thought that if his elder brother hadn't died back then, there might really have been no place for him. But if he had known that the result of Ji Feiyu being with him would be like this, he would rather that he hadn't been in Ji Feiyu's story.
On the third night, Yong Yaxuan lit the hallucinogenic powder again as if possessed.
This time, Ji Feiyu recognized him in his dream.
"Yong Yaxuan, why are you here?" Ji Feiyu walked towards him with a big belly.
"Feiyu? You're pregnant?" He could hardly believe it.
Ji Feiyu was quite calm. She just wondered, "I'm pregnant. What does it matter to you? Why are you so happy?"
Yong Yaxuan wondered, "It doesn't matter to me? Then whose child is in your belly?"
"Of course, it's Chengxuan's." Ji Feiyu looked at him strangely and then suddenly touched his forehead. "Yong Yaxuan, are you having a fever? Why are you talking nonsense?"
Just then, Yong Chengxuan walked over. He looked at Ji Feiyu tenderly and kissed her on the forehead. "You've worked hard, Yu'er."
Yong Yaxuan's mind went blank.
Ji Feiyu looked at Chengxuan, her eyes full of sweetness. "It's not hard. By the way, I've made a few little clothes for him recently. Do you want to come and have a look?"
"Sure!" Yong Chengxuan carefully supported Ji Feiyu and went to the place where she put the little clothes.
Yong Yaxuan suddenly found those little clothes extremely glaring.
No, he couldn't stand it.
He didn't want to continue watching from the sidelines.
The figures of Ji Feiyu and Yong Chengxuan gradually faded away. Yong Yaxuan woke up again. This time, he felt a splitting headache. He got up and knocked over the censer that was still emitting a wisp of smoke with his bandaged hand.
He felt so uncomfortable, really so uncomfortable. Those crazy longings had already cocooned in his heart, making it impossible for him to escape.
And the real reality might be even harder for him to accept than the dream.
This might be the real self - imprisonment.