The first time I was tricked by Ji Feiyu, I mistakenly used the Wuxuan Plant as Bailing Grass on my face, which made my face break out in red pimples. At that time, I firmly believed that Ji Feiyu did it on purpose, while she resolutely denied that there was anything wrong with her prescription.
The second time I was tricked by her, she caused another ruckus and was being chased. In a fit of heroism, I rushed in to save her. Who would have thought that she was pushed and fell straight into my arms. Her chest hit my rib so hard that before I could even figure out what was going on, I slapped her across the face. Later, my face swelled up badly... And then I found out that there was poison on her palm.
The third time I was tricked by Ji Feiyu, she happily dragged my hand as we walked on the road. Dazzled by her smile, I was suddenly bumped into by someone. As I was in a good mood, I didn't scold the rude person. It wasn't until I wanted to buy her some delicious food that I realized my money bag was gone.
The fourth time I was tricked by her, she was sitting alone in the Zuiyue Pavilion, drinking silently. Just as I walked over to strike up a conversation, I saw her surrounded by several ill - intentioned big guys. I thought she was in trouble again, but unexpectedly, it was those big guys who let out painful cries the next second. She snorted, picked up the jade flute on the table and left. Her red dress was extremely eye - catching. And I was mistaken for her accomplice by the big guys and was forced to fight them.
The fifth time I was tricked by Ji Feiyu, it was actually me who was in trouble and she reached out to save me. She said it was really bad for a man to be so good - looking because he could be chased just by walking on the street. Her voice was so loud that everyone on the street looked at me, which really embarrassed me.
The sixth time I was tricked by her, she grabbed my hand and called me good elder brother. The next second, I was surrounded by a group of big men asking for silver. Only then did I know that she had taken me to the place where she had run up debts to pay them off...
...
I've forgotten myself when I started to like her. All I know is that she lived so vividly. She was the first bright color that broke into my life.
The first time I hugged her was during that accidental rescue; the first time I held her hand was when we ate without paying and were chased all over the street; the first time I kissed her was in the desolate tomb under the moon with tears still on her eyelashes; the first time I made love to her was on the third day of our wedding. She struggled for a long time before finally giving herself to me.
The days with her were so exciting that I never thought life could be like this. With her, I never seemed to be able to predict when the next trouble would pop up.
The first time I felt heartache for her was when I saw her hugging Cheng Xuan; the first time I felt sad for her was when I saw her desperately learning the palace etiquette for me; the first time I got angry with her was because she stayed up all night sewing clothes for my birthday present and pricked holes all over her hands; the first time I felt guilty for her was because I couldn't reconcile the relationship between her and my mother.
She always said that she was a very stupid person, too slow to realize things. But I didn't think she was stupid. Instead, she just didn't want to be hurt and would rather be slow. She always said that she was a very mischievous person and not suitable to be the queen. But I told her that I was also an unqualified emperor, so we were a perfect match.
Actually, I wasn't that tolerant or indulgent of her mischief. It was just that she always behaved well within the range I could accept; actually, I wasn't that responsible or caring for her. It was just that she was easily satisfied and never made excessive demands; actually, I wanted to be a good emperor and let everyone in the world know it was her credit. But for her, I could never be ruthless enough.
She liked to catch my attention when she was bored, distract me when I was busy, and make me angry in warm moments; she always had a whole bunch of reasons when talking to me; she liked to act nonchalant, pretend to be calm, and cover it up with a smile. So I pretended not to know anything and played along with her. I don't know why I always indulged her. It seemed that as long as she was happy in my eyes.
The first time I shouted at her was because Concubine Xin had a miscarriage; the first time I scolded her was because I was sad that she always thought about Cheng Xuan; the first time I felt it wasn't worth it for her was when she still defended Lin Zhiran after being bullied by her. At that time, I always felt that I had never entered her heart. My pride was shattered by her at that moment.
The first time I felt panicked for her was during the big fire in the Cold Palace. At that time, I was still thinking about how to clear her of the charges, but then God played a huge joke on me. The first time I saw her turn around was when she held herself hostage and asked me to let her and Lin Zhiran go. I really didn't understand why that person was so important to her. The first time I felt her guilt was when she rushed up from behind and hugged me. At that moment, I thought, forget it. Let her go. She wouldn't be happy in this cage.
I never thought that one day, she and I would end up like this. I thought I could always protect her and shield her from the wind and rain; I thought we could gallop on horses and live freely hand in hand; I thought we could sit in the harem together, tasting tea and playing music, and be together until death. I thought...
I thought too much, but it was all in vain.
Being an emperor is the most sorrowful thing. Without love, one has to care about all the people in the world. One can't give the one they love exclusivity, nor can one give the world extra tenderness.
The first time I wanted to give up the throne was when I learned that she might still be alive and went out of the palace to look for her; the first time I resisted passively was when I learned that she would personally lead troops to attack the imperial city; the first time I felt completely disheartened was when I heard her say that she hated me.
I want to tell her that if my love has become a burden to you, then I'm willing to let go. If my love is not what you want, then I'm willing to give it up. If these eyes can't see you in the future, then there's no point in treating them.
I wanted to offer the world to win your favor, but you didn't want it. I have nothing else to compensate you with, so I'll just use these eyes to atone for my sins.
I don't remember how the assassin got in that day, but I remember that she was wearing the red dress you liked. I remember that her face resembled yours a little. At night, I thought I was dreaming, but then there was a sharp knife stabbing at my chest. She missed with the first strike, and what greeted her was the painful powder.
You see how much she looks like you. She struck once and left without hesitation. I thought she was just a sister avenging you, but I didn't expect that she was really your older sister.
The palace. The palace...
In the three mornings, I'm not used to waking up without you by my side. As the glory fades, all that's left beside me is an empty pillow. When the dream ends, the falling moon on my body only brings a touch of desolation.
Who is smiling lightly by the small window, laughing at the gentle eyebrow - painting? Who once held my hand, looking at me with a gentle gaze? Who once put on the flower hairpin and said she wanted to be a peerless beauty for once?
The appearance of the past is still here, but only the flowers fall silently and the person is gone.
The night in the palace is so lonely that I would inexplicably want to cry as soon as I hear the sound of the flute or the jade flute.
In the night wind, who accompanies me standing alone? Under the bright moon, who points out the mountains and rivers for me?
People in the palace fear me, and those in the court respect me. No one is like you, scolding and laughing at me with true feelings.
You once said that the palace was the loneliest place in the world. I didn't believe it at first, but now I do.
Thank you for once walking with me. I'm very lucky to have you on this journey.
I'm sorry again.
I didn't give you the best when you were with me. I hope that you can forget all the unhappiness in the future.
And I will guard you in this deep palace and create a prosperous world for you.
The last thing I want to say is that I really don't want to let go of your hand.